I have been dating a WONDERFUL new man for almost 6 months. He is loyal, honest, handsome, funny, smart, and aside from some small issues, really is GREAT. One problem: My ex still haunts. me. He was really horrible to me in many ways. On the surface, he was sweet, considerate, smart, etc. BUT he could not get enough of the ladies. Technically, we split up a long time before he/I actually allowed me to move on. For years after the "split," he still told me he loved me, flew me to India to spend a month with him, discussed marriage, had me take care of his grandmother/bills/apartment hunting while he was away, etc. Regardless, he continued to sleep with other women --- LOTS of other women. It was my fault for staying in, and I am happily out and moving on with my life. I have gone to therapy, but the wounds are still there. The ex is currently on a trip visiting a woman in Sweden who he "cheated" on me with two years ago. For some STUPID reason, it hurts my feelings. Back then, he told me he never slept with her, but she paid for his flight over, introduced him to her entire family, and he is now saying he is falling in love with her. They supposedly did not hook up, and supposedly he only spent one week with her two years ago. I realize this is silly. I realize that this new, amazing many should be my focus, not the rotten ex, but it somehow still has me upset and a bit shaken. I feel so embarrassed for not seeing it back then, for staying in, and for allowing myself to believe he loved me. I am just now allowing my anger to fully come to the surface, but why now?!?! I thought I had dealt with this, but somehow, I am seeing I have not. I wish I could escape hearing about him and his life, but we share so many mutual friends, his family and I are still close, and we share an academic department, all of which makes it hard to do so. I really wish I could not allow this stuff to hurt my feelings - to make me feel devalued and insecure. Why do I care when I am in love with someone new?!?! Really confused and concerned by this. Can anyone give any insight and assistance? I really don't want my baggage to damage this new, far more healthy relationship I am in now. I realize it is a choice, but I am a person that needs to understand the "why" of it all. hahaha. WHY AM I STILL SO HURT?!?! Thanks so much in advance, everyone!
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