I sometimes wonder why I chose to stay, but then realize there are many reasons why I stayed in this marriage. First of all he is my best friend despite what he did, and I love him. I just couldn't give up on what we had and the years we put into this relationship. I felt like I had invested too much time with this one person to just "throw it away". 25 years of my life committed to one person is a lot of time invested. Also we were in the middle of the adoption process, and I could not have my own children. I would suffered through infertility and the treatments throughout my 30's. I could not imagine then throwing away my only chance to have a baby, I just could not do that. I had enough sadness going on inside me and I think that would just ruin me. I chose to stay for so many reasons. I would be justified in leaving if I chose to leave. I was not willing to let it all go after all the time we were together. Maybe there are days I regret this but most days I don't. Life is just hard no matter how you look at it. It just is. And i think no marriage is perfect. So why leave and get myself into another relationship with new problems of its own. Why not just work on the one I have? Does this make sense in my case?
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