Of cuorse not,, however, she knew he was married,, so she is getting what she deserves! That is your last laugh! Keep that in mind,, you no longer have to worry bout his cheating,, now she has to worry bout it! Let her have the anxiety attacks! LOL

I haven't ever met the OW, or spoken to her...and don't plan to. She knew he was married before they started seeing each other. At one point he tried to break things off and make things better with us, but she still wouldn't leave him alone. She encouraged him to leave me, and our children, and be with her. She gives him a hard time about visiting the kids...and now I am turning the tables. We are REALLY working on things. We have gotten much needed therapy, and are growing closer everyday. One day she will be out of my life, and I hope to never think about her again.

It won't last and it might even be more hurtful to her** one can only hope :-)** than you because your husband will have started to become a pro at getting away with lying and cheating...Her thinking she's all that because she got herself a cheating husband of a trusting wife will bite her in the butt one day, she'll end up only having friends like herself and they will destroy each other fighting over the slime balls that cheat on their wives. No one wants to deal with a low life whore that can't get a deceit man so they prey on the weak !!! GOOD LUCK !!!

Yeh, I dont get it. Think about the track record of some of the ex's or the OM/OW. For my situation, he has been married twice, cheated in both marriages and why they ended, (if the last one if even over yet), lost two business and losing his third, drinks the liquor store dry...

why do they think it will be better with them?

kellyq, I wish I knew... I really don't know why the O/W would want a cheating man and she did know that he was married..

My husband broke it off, and wouldn't have anymore to do with her... She did call him and want to continue it... I think, she wanted him to leave me and marry her...

No, if that had happened, they wouldn't have been together... One thing, that he would never married her, because I would never given him a divorce.... Maybe just a legal separation so she could never been married to him.. (all they could have done was shack up together)...

I think that they(cheater and o/w) are alike, both are self centered and selfish..
That is all that I can say about it..

They think they're better because some of them live in a fantasy world. The same fantasy world they offer our spouses. They aren't with them every single day like we are. They don't have to pick their dirty underwear and socks up out of the hallway everyday. They get snippets of their time and it's usually quite controlled. To these men, they are fantasies. Everyday life plays little or no part in their affair. Hell, most of us are raising kids, working fulltime jobs, keeping the house, doing the shopping, etc, etc, etc..So some of these other women out do us in the fantasy area. They might have all week to plan the perfect sex session. They may be able to meet their married lover at the door wearing nothing but a smile.. The funny thing is, once real life takes over and some of them leave their wives for this mistress/whore, they soon see that life is not about a 24 hour lust fest. It's not about him 100%. It's about LIFE. About paying bills, cleaning house, laundry, etc.. And the best part? It usually comes to a point where neither of them trust the other. That my friends is some damn good revenge. :)

Insanity?! I think that's what makes them think they are better. Do I think it will work? No, no way. OWs are desperate people with some problems. I don't think they'd enter into a likely destructive relationship with someone they can't trust if they really loved themselves.

I'm just guessing since I was the OW for a few months (and didn't realize it at the time) but I think a lot of married men lie to their mistresses. I know it's hard for a wife to believe that but they do. Men will tell women anything they can to get them in bed or to get some attention from them. It might surprise you to realize that your husband "might" be telling the other woman that you are mean to him, ignore his needs, are cheating on him first, etc.etc. I'm not saying that is right in any way, just letting you know that as the OW for a very brief time I experienced those lies and found out firsthand that the man was lying when I saw his wife for myself. She was totally the opposite of what he had been telling me all along. He was just a dog.

yeah, thats generally what happens in those situations. My brother used to lie to girls all the time when he was dating his fiance', but what ended up happening, she ended up leaving him. When she left, that is when he grew up, and realized he did not want to be without her, but by then, she was already married to someone else, so it was his own fault really.

anyway, he never lied to a girl again after that, and is now married to a beautiful young lady in Indianapolis, and they had their first baby girl on Halloween night. I got to see her on thanksgiving, she is soo cute!!

The point is, people can change, but not with that person. Its usually better to go your separate ways, then once you do, and learn to stop the lying, thats when the one you want suddenly appears out of nowhere. A relationship between a man, and woman, always has the potential of being great, just so long as both parties understand cheating is wrong, lying is wrong, and to always talk to eachother no matter what. Then and only then, does a marriage really work. Its just, once those things start to take place in a marriage, its too hard to recover from that, until you've had space away from eachother, then suddenly out of the blue, your dream man, or dream woman, appears out of nowhere, where you least expect it.

I remember this every time I listen to Mariah Carey "Dream lover come rescue me" no matter how many times I've been hurt in my life, one thing is certain, when you find love again, "love like you've never been loved before" and it will work out I promise :)

fixation, I think you are so right about the cheater lying to the O/W or O/M...
Yes, I did find out that my H lied to the O/W, but she knew he was married when she started with him, so I guess, she got her just rewards!
They both live in a fantasy world, and really don't care about their partners at home...
To bad that people are so into themselves and not having any thoughts of what they are doing to others..

The OW have no clue what is going on. They are selfish insignificant pieces of trash. Who in their right mind would think it is ok to be with a married man? They also have no family values or morals. The other women in our case still continues with the contact even though I believe in my heart of hearts it is over between the 2 of them. It took me along time to figure this out but we as the wives have to have NO contact with the OW. The OW feed off knowing that they have upset us and continue to do it so that we will get sick of it and leave our significant other. I had one conversation with her and it went no where. I have not had contact with her for 8 months. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE AFFAIR. YOUR HUSBAND AND THE OW ARE THE ONLY ONES RESPONSIBLE. Taking that blame off myself really helped.

A very good answer Millie30... Thank you!

They think they are better because they are the ones our husbands choose over us. They think they are better because our husbands (and wives) are neglecting their families to be with them. They think they are better because our spouses have told them they are. They don't take its over for an answer because they are selfish and our spouses don't MAKE IT CLEAR enough. They are weak and pathetic.

I would like to wipe my OW smug face right into the ground. I don't know how she can look at herself in the mirror each day knowing what she has done.

BUMP