it's about 6 pm where i am and for some reason i just have this urge to have a couple of drinks. not sure why but i'm feeling sort of giddy. strange thing is that i really have no reason to feel that way. i don't understand. but i like it. it's something i haven't felt in a long, long, LONG time. this is cool. i've got the stereo cranked (the neighbors don't like it when i feel good cuz of the noise) and it's playing some pretty awesome tunes. this is great!! i may even go spend the last few bucks i have and go dancing. i haven't danced in a few weeks and i really need to get out of the house. this is lonely and boring here all alone. granted, i do love to be here to try to help others get through their own sad and bad times but for some reason i'm feeling kinda selfish this evening. i don't normally get this way. or i haven't in many years, but i'm thinking that going out to the local club may just help me meet someone new to talk face to face with (not about personal issues as i don't want to scare anyone away) but i'm kind of in the need of some (don't hate me) one on one companionship this evening. not in a sexual nature, but someone to talk to and attempt to connect with on a social level. hopefully i can find someone who wants to dance. i'm not bad at it. not good at it either. but i can two step, half step, step and a half, jitterbug (a little), and slow dance as well as do a little nasty thing like dirty dancing sort of stuff. i think i'll just do that. i'm gonna be broke for a few weeks and don't know how i'm going to pay my bills (unless i pull a little out of savings) but i'm not sure i can sit here alone and dwell on my past much longer without losing my mind completely.
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