When in this recovery/rebuilding process does it get better? It's been 2.5 months since D-Day and although there have been some good moments, every day I experience raw, unbearable anger and pain.
The whole thing seems unfair to me. We're both attending marriage counseling, but I'm also seeing an individual therapist. I'm learning how to relieve my stress, manage my anger, deal with the sadness and cope with the trauma my mind/body has experienced. All coping mechanisms to get through the day. But somehow I can't help but feel that its just ways to minimize my emotions so he doesn't have to deal with it. He's weathering the storm and is doing his part, but sometimes I feel like I'm putting in more work. I've had to adjust my train of thought and the way I process my feelings and retrain because he broke me.
In therapy, it comes back to the premise that something was missing in the relationship for him to stray. That statement alone makes me angry. Marriage isnt always a perfect romance. It can be dirty and ugly. There have been times that I was unhappy but ive never strayed. He says he needed more attention and intimacy. So we're supposed to work on that but I can't now, because I know he got it from someone else. I retract when I think of the betrayal and how he received his needs from her. I feel like 2nd fiddle, coming in after she gave him what he needed, and now it's my turn to carry on?
The biggest unfairness is that he got everything he wanted - he got to have his fun while ruining his wife and marriage. Yet he still has the wife at home. For now at least. In the end he got it all, and Im left with an empty, guarded, broken heart. It's just not fair. I honestly don't know what to do or how to get past this. I'm stuck.
If things have gone down increasingly in the bedroom... I mean maybe 1-2 times a month, when he is drinking... Is that a sign of infidelity, or even an interest in another woman? He is 31 and I am mid 20s. I dont understand.
Before I met my girlfriend, I have been seeing a woman who is very ideal for me. She is very fun to talk with. We share the same interest--- favorite books, food and music. Despite everything, she’s not ready for a serious relationship and decided to end whatever we had. We have been chatting for two years and ended it that way. Months after, I met this girl who is now my girlfriend. She’s...