Most books on infidelity (Adultery) say about 2 years if both people work on the relationship...
I don't think we ever get completely over being cheated on and ever trust again... not like before..
I don't have any clue as to your H wanting to change... I guess, time will tell..
I think he needs to get professional help if there has been several affairs...
Best wishes and hugs to you!

He does need help and it sounds if its a good time to seek it if hes confessing. Is he a sex addict because several affairs is an awful lot and if he feels bad about himself he could analyse why hes been doing it

I don't think he is a sex addict b/c the affairs aren't just one night stands..I really think he just is always looking or needed someone to show him he is loved or wanted still...the first affair was three years and this last one was 8 months...the girl this last time was a bit on the crazy side and did things to keep him there a lot longer than he wanted to be but she would threaten to call me ( and even would right in front of me and then hang up when i answered ) the whole counsoling thing I just don't know about , we have done it before and neither counsoler was for keeping us together ..

What sucks is when I am doubting him on something and question him and b/c it's been four months now he doesn't have as much patience w/ being understanding , he says things are good..and that he trying which he is really hard doing things like flowers out of the blue, bought tickets to a play and we are spending a lot of time together just the two of us, he got a job w/ me so show that he doesn't want to hide anything...but I still have my days that I am sad , and I still have times when I wonder what he is doing...and honestly there is no time for an affair right now b/c I know his every move ...no more gym ( his choice ) comes home right from work and we are together always on the weekends ..but the seed has been planted and now after healing from the first affair I just don't know if i will ever trust again :(

I wish I knew! Try reading The Dance of Anger. Its a good book my therapist recommended. It really helped me figure out why he hadn't changed his ways.

I am at about 9 months and the pain is just starting to subside a bit. My husband has made a great effort to make things better with couples counceling, individual counceling and support groups such as this one. I think my pain started to subside when he finally realized trully how much pain I was in. He needs to make it right with you and the family. Time does heal all wounds. Trust I have found is much harder than the pain. I can control my pain but only he has control over the trust issues. I know it sounds silly but he has to show me that I can trust him again.
I know things will get better for you. Just give it some time.

So here is a crazy question, do we tell the kids what he has done? My daughter found a text message between him and this Lady and was all upset holding it in for two months watching him and seeing more clues until finally she wrote me a letter saying I think Daddy is cheating ..she is 14 years old and we are very close and when she came forward he sat both of us down saying it wasn't true and he would never hurt our family that way. So part of me wants him to say sorry to her for lying to her and hurting us and saying we will get through this...but at 14 is that to much ...should she be left out of it?