Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
A little bit of karmic justice, maybe, for those who have been betrayed by a spouse.
I was the OW. When I met this guy, he lied to me about his marriage and told me it was over. Well, my mistake was hanging in with him after I found out the truth.
He did divorce his wife (of 20 some years) and I thought he would be with me.
He gave me a ring -- and soon after that I found out he was seeing someone else. I took the ring back to the jeweler to return it, and confusion ensued. You see, he had purchased another ring at the same place, which he had given to someone else!
In other words, Mr. Lying Cheater pulled the same crap on me. No surprise, right?
I'm just posting this to make the point that there's not a fairy tale ending to adulterous affairs.
To anyone else seeing a married person, seriously consider the true character of someone who sneaks around -- and don't think you are "special" or the "soulmate"
In fact, after my experience, I would say RUN like your pants are on fire if a married person ever comes on to you.
I was the OW. When I met this guy, he lied to me about his marriage and told me it was over. Well, my mistake was hanging in with him after I found out the truth.
He did divorce his wife (of 20 some years) and I thought he would be with me.
He gave me a ring -- and soon after that I found out he was seeing someone else. I took the ring back to the jeweler to return it, and confusion ensued. You see, he had purchased another ring at the same place, which he had given to someone else!
In other words, Mr. Lying Cheater pulled the same crap on me. No surprise, right?
I'm just posting this to make the point that there's not a fairy tale ending to adulterous affairs.
To anyone else seeing a married person, seriously consider the true character of someone who sneaks around -- and don't think you are "special" or the "soulmate"
In fact, after my experience, I would say RUN like your pants are on fire if a married person ever comes on to you.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
I was the OW as well and the man I cheated with told me he was separated from his wife and lied to me about many, many things the whole time I saw him ((too many things to go in to right now)). I felt that I deserved it when I finally cut it off with him because I was in turn hurting my own husband. So I got paid back immediately after doing wrong to my spouse. I feel I deserved it and it has made it a little easier to go on with my life knowing the OM was a liar.
Now it's the OM turn to get what is coming to him for lying about his wife to me and cheating on her like that right under her nose. He KNEW for a fact if he had told me he was still married that I would have had nothing to do with him and he chose to lie to me for 3 months. Sure, I was stupid because I didn't realize that while we met "during the day" while she was working that should be a clue but that was the only time I could meet so I had to do it and thought nothing of it. I should have also known by the fact that the whole first month we talked on the phone he called from a pay phone and said she had locked him out of the house with her "new" boyfriend that I found out later didn't exist. He "chose" to go call me from a pay phone so she wouldn't find out about me. Ohhh there's so much now that I think back and see that he did that was a blatant lie. Why couldn't I see it?!! I had no idea he was still with her and he made her out to be a monster ((said she beat him, tried to kill him many times, left him with a child abuser that in turn molested his little girls but really didn't touch them since there was no other man)) when she was just an unknowing wife that was innocent during the time he was cheating on her. I hope he gets what he deserves. He has a lot coming to him not only for lying to me but lying about being separated while his wife and children sat at home waiting on him AND lying about his kids being molested and beat by a strange man his wife was dating when that man never existed.
Sorry, I'm a bit OT but I get heated when I think about the OM.
- my separated husband moved out one week after xmas and in w/married (separated) girl.
- came across emails to her, phone calls (yes was even calling her from our house phone)
- he told me he had always been attracted to her
- met her some 15 yrs ago, prior to meeting & marrying me
- he was not legally separated when he moved out
- our separation became legal yesterday
- he has hurt me greatly by this, lied to me when I asked him if there was someone else
- their relationship is based on cheating, and not trust
- your post gives me hopt that possibly their relationship will not survive (yes as I write that, I don't wish them any ill will, but I also do not wish them success)
- his actions have consequences
- he moved out, and away from his two beautiful kids & I
- he never sat me down & gave me a chance to discuss his feelings
- he took control of relationship when he started moving away from me emotionally, physically & mentally
- these are HIS PROBLEMS not mine
- my backyard is not perfect
- however I'm in counselling, and I choose not to ever again be a homewrecker, especially I see how painful and terrible problems it causes the one left to deal with everything
- I believe that these experiences are & will lead to something or someone good
Totally agree with you, we cannot always control our feelings or emotions, but the key is not to put yourself in situations where these feelings can start to begin with. Its called respect and control, to honor & cherish your partner.
Just my thoughts..................