My husband had a long term affair with a married woman at work. I confronted him. He said he loved me and wanted to stay married to me. I thought the affair was over, but as it turned out, they just got sneakier.
I was on to his tricks the second time around and confronted him again. Only this time I told him it was over between us unless he met some conditions. He did as I asked. He went to a therapist. I thought we made it.
One of the things I noticed was that before he saw this tramp, he would look at porn on his computer. It became valuable to me because it was a way I could check up on him. After all the drama the second time around, he told me he "stopped all that", meaning the porn. Well, I haven't checked up on him in a while. I was feeling good that things are good, but I have been duped before.
I guess it will come as no suprise that I found porn again. And it's even more graphic than before. He logs onto these cameras that women have set up in their room. I couldn't watch. My stomach is in a knot.
I don't want to be reading more into this than necessary. But if he is cheating again, I obviously want to know. I do ask him from time to time if he's being good, when was the last time he saw the tramp. I know he can lie. But if he does, he knows he is digging his own grave.
I have been married for 40 years, do I need to add that? Please do not jump all over me and tell me how naive I am. I can tell you I have felt pretty dumb because I missed so many signs the first time around. You love someone, you trust them, you build a life together. I was so blindsighted. I ignored things and explained them away with logical reasons. I don't want to be doing that again.
My eyes have been opened. I know now that he is capable of deceipt. Is he cheating again or just looking at porn?
Everytime I hear a lie from my current partner I feel as if I get stabbed on the inside. That the wounds dont ever show doesn't make it less real and painful. He's trying to manipulate me into thinking it never happened, breaking down the details, blurrying the lines and covering up the evidences, casting doubt and when caught and pinned down he retaliates with blaming me. I feel myself breaking...
I'm new to this but hoping I'll find some comfort and relief. Long story short, I've been with my husband for almost 10 years and he's cheated many times with many women years ago but in the past year or 2 my suspicions of history repeating itself have been validated and heart shattering, I've been clean and sober for 3 years after years of self medicating for numerous reasons and now the...