
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
I cheated on my wife for almost 2 years. Ten months ago, i told her everything. She has stayed with me even though she is very angry. I hurt her beyond words. How do I fix this mess that I have created? She hates what I have done to her and the kids. She wants to know "why" I did this. I am being completely honest with her right now. I hide nothing. She checks my cell and email whenever she wants. We have moved 4 hours away from the other woman, and I have not had communication with her at all. My wife says that I have not changed. Not shown remorse. It is very hard for me to show remorse when all i see when i look at her is her hating me. She talks about what I have done at least once every 2 or 3 days. I realize she has every right to bring this up to me. I just feel that we are not moving forward and working together on "us". If she does not want "us", why is she staying with me?
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She is working on "us" by the simple act of staying with you. Not to mention moving away because of something YOU did.
I dont mean to be harsh but you seem to still be in the its all about me and my happiness mind set.
If you really love your wife and want this to work with her you have to find a way to help her no matter how hard that might be for you. You had your time now its her turn.
Showing a little remorse might be a good place to start.
I hope things work out for you.
My husband also wishes that I could get over his affair yesterday, but he had an affair with the other woman for about an year in total and I told him to at least give me twice that long to get over it....
All the books that I have read have said it takes at least 2 years for the partner to get over and feel better....
If you will be very patient and kind to her, also cherish her every minute of the day she will start to feel better. Also both of you should go to counseling. It really helps, because right now, she feels worthless and doesn't feel as you really ever loved her, even if she loves you...
I told my husband that he really didn't know how bad he hurt me and would probably never know... He said that he could see, because for the first 6 months, I cried everyday... I would go between crying and being angry...
We have talked and read books together... He knows now what he did in the first place (before the affair) to make our marriage very unhappy for me...
TALK, TALK, TALK is my advice to you.....
And your part should be patience, love, kindness, Let her vent, and don't get upset if she screams at you.... She really needs to get everything out if she is going to heal. Please answer all her questions and endure all her emotions that she has.....
I wish you much success in your recovery... Prayers for you and your wife...
Take my advice - go to the counciling. I suggest once a week for at least 4 sessions, preferably high price sessions in nice professional looking offices.
This will create the perfect, official atmosphere for your wife to vent about your behaivor and for the therapist to agree with everything she says. You can offer token arguments if you like, or just sit and say it's all true. Doesn't really matter. The important thing is that you've shown interest, and backed it up with cash, and that you're now been officially tried, sentenced and put on probation but an "expert"
Plus it will fun and you and your wife will open up an lot and you'll enjoy the trip home together
Ok, so from the start we are almost on the same page, being the cheater. Really it sounds like you are doing everything correct and it will take time. Neither YOU or her will not be able to fix anything, it will take both of you to fix it. The decision you need to make is do you want your wife. Plain and simple, if you don't then start the proceedings. But if you do, then tell her what she wants to know and do not spare the details if you know them. It may take brutal honesty to let her feel that you are being open and honest with her. Do not gripe about not having a private life because you have given that up. Now remorse is a hard thing to show, I am still working on that one, continue to say you are sorry and that you are asking for forgiveness. By her only bringing up every 2 or 3 days is pretty good, mine is 2 or 3 times a day if not more. No books, counselor, or other person will be able to tell you if things are better, only you will. As for the staying with you, that could be many things for instance the feeling no other place to go, the feeling of security, or possibly even the ability to seek revenge.
Again only you will be able to see the situation for better or worse.
Good Luck
Again, i want t osay that i know oyu are hurting, i have been there... and i am sorry that oyu are having to go through this.... but you are currently not doing any good... don't become lost in your pain and hate.