You cheated for 2 years and you expect her to work on "us" within 10 months time? And she brings it up "at least once every 2 or 3 days"? consider yourself LUCKY! Many of us bring it up daily.
She is working on "us" by the simple act of staying with you. Not to mention moving away because of something YOU did.
I dont mean to be harsh but you seem to still be in the its all about me and my happiness mind set.
If you really love your wife and want this to work with her you have to find a way to help her no matter how hard that might be for you. You had your time now its her turn.
Showing a little remorse might be a good place to start.
I hope things work out for you.

Did you try counseling. I know everyone suggests it, but it can help. I am finally get past the point when I think of it daily. Good luck.

You're going to have to allow her to go through her anger and count your blessings that she stayed with you. Let her call you whatever she wants to call you. She needs to get it out. Keep apologizing to her and letting her know that you love her and you'll never, ever do this again. You broke this. You need to take the major responsibility to fix it. And, in the end, she may not be able to get over it and you'll be out on your butt. But, you also knew that before you told her. Be patient to her. When she asks why, just take full responsibility for what you did and don't blame it on her. If she makes it past the hurt and anger, then she'll be ready to work on the marriage. But, she needs to get out her anger. I'm not saying to let her abuse you, but you need to continue to be patient with her. She doesn't trust you. When trust is shattered into a million shards, it takes some time to put it back together. Sounds like you've got a good start. Sorry, but there's nothing I can say to make it better for either of you. It takes time and it takes work. It will take a lot of sacrifice on your part to allow them to heal.

Your just going to have to give her time. And keep your promises.

Just count on this affair that you had, taking her at least 2 years or more to get over...

My husband also wishes that I could get over his affair yesterday, but he had an affair with the other woman for about an year in total and I told him to at least give me twice that long to get over it....

All the books that I have read have said it takes at least 2 years for the partner to get over and feel better....

If you will be very patient and kind to her, also cherish her every minute of the day she will start to feel better. Also both of you should go to counseling. It really helps, because right now, she feels worthless and doesn't feel as you really ever loved her, even if she loves you...

I told my husband that he really didn't know how bad he hurt me and would probably never know... He said that he could see, because for the first 6 months, I cried everyday... I would go between crying and being angry...

We have talked and read books together... He knows now what he did in the first place (before the affair) to make our marriage very unhappy for me...

TALK, TALK, TALK is my advice to you.....

And your part should be patience, love, kindness, Let her vent, and don't get upset if she screams at you.... She really needs to get everything out if she is going to heal. Please answer all her questions and endure all her emotions that she has.....

I wish you much success in your recovery... Prayers for you and your wife...

Brad,
Take my advice - go to the counciling. I suggest once a week for at least 4 sessions, preferably high price sessions in nice professional looking offices.
This will create the perfect, official atmosphere for your wife to vent about your behaivor and for the therapist to agree with everything she says. You can offer token arguments if you like, or just sit and say it's all true. Doesn't really matter. The important thing is that you've shown interest, and backed it up with cash, and that you're now been officially tried, sentenced and put on probation but an "expert"
Plus it will fun and you and your wife will open up an lot and you'll enjoy the trip home together

Ah...Brad8 if your wife just found out you ahve to give her ime. My husband cheated on me with 3 different women. He wants me to "hurry up" and make a decision on what I want to do. I told him his first affair was in 94-95. I have at least that long to decide what I am going to do. Brad8 finding out the man you desperately LOVE gave another woman once tad bit of him is the worst pain I can ever feel, I can't even explain the hurt and I still can't catch my breath...My husband just came clean on 6.28.07...Please if you want to stay with her give her time. My husband & are are trying so hard and my husband has been awesome. But you know what I still bring it up almost daily. I need to know WHY, HOW COME, WASN'T I GOOD ENOUGH...All those thought keep running through my mind. If you have never been in our place just try to imagine...Then if you can imagine just remember we are living it not just imagining it. Give her a chance, like she is graciously giving you...GOOD LUCK

Brad8,
Ok, so from the start we are almost on the same page, being the cheater. Really it sounds like you are doing everything correct and it will take time. Neither YOU or her will not be able to fix anything, it will take both of you to fix it. The decision you need to make is do you want your wife. Plain and simple, if you don't then start the proceedings. But if you do, then tell her what she wants to know and do not spare the details if you know them. It may take brutal honesty to let her feel that you are being open and honest with her. Do not gripe about not having a private life because you have given that up. Now remorse is a hard thing to show, I am still working on that one, continue to say you are sorry and that you are asking for forgiveness. By her only bringing up every 2 or 3 days is pretty good, mine is 2 or 3 times a day if not more. No books, counselor, or other person will be able to tell you if things are better, only you will. As for the staying with you, that could be many things for instance the feeling no other place to go, the feeling of security, or possibly even the ability to seek revenge.
Again only you will be able to see the situation for better or worse.

Good Luck

My husband has been cheating since day one and he just leaves and never shows any remorse. so my advice is show her your sorry anad yes she probably does hate you right now but she will come around. remeber she wouldnt be there if she didnt love you but you need to make her see why she fell in love with you in the first place, all she probably wants is to know that you are sorry and that you do love her and that you want do it again but you need to give her as much time as she needs because you broke a very important thing and thats trust and you have no clue the pain you have caused her and she just needs time,

Congrats for coming clean, but you dont deserve her. I feel bad for her. Infidelity is a mess you cant fix; so stop trying. I say you deserve all the hate she is giving you for what you did so you should just shut up and take it. Shes probably staying with you for the good of the kids which is kind of sad.

lilu... i know you are hurting right now... but you are venting your pain onto people that are looking for help, and advice on how to do the right hting... please stop doing that, because it isn't helping you, helping them, or helping us on the board.
Again, i want t osay that i know oyu are hurting, i have been there... and i am sorry that oyu are having to go through this.... but you are currently not doing any good... don't become lost in your pain and hate.

actually you're wrong- i dont hurt at all- im standing up for people who are hurt. i get sick of people who seem to think they can fix infidelity. all of my relationships have been wonderful- but good guess?

I'm working on the same situation, Brad, except my affair was found out only two weeks ago. We are seeing a counselor and the best advice I heard so far is that my timeframe doesn't matter one bit. It's my H and kids' timeframe that is important. It could take a long long time to heal, but me hurrying things along could only make things worse. Don't push too hard and be patient when she doesn't match the timeframe that you have set up in your head. Trust me, I know how hard this is.

I agree.I stayed because I wanted my kids to have a father.I have forgiven my husband but I dont believe in monogomy anymore.If I get attracted to someone, I will return the favor.I also Im not attracted to him anymore I see him differently now.No matter how hard he tries to make up for it.Some times you cant go back.I dont trust myself now and I notice guys more.Maybe we are switching roles.Now Im the jerk and he can be the good one.

Cammy, two wrongs don't make a right. Because you have kids, don't let them witness you being the jerk this time. You're better than that even though you still are angry.