
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
ultimately having them their for support is good, but just remember its your choice whether you decide stay and work it our or leave... take care of you
it is ultimately just your decision...no one can understand what you are going through...even on this site we can sympathize with each other and give advice but even here each situation is different in some way....your situation is unique....
I often mourn the fact that my children know about it (even though they are grown) and they shared this with their cousins because they are close.... I worry that they will forever have a different view of their father. He will no longer be that hero to them...
But, you know what? when I asked them if they would have preferred not to know -both of them -even my son who does not like to get into any personal stuff at all-both kids said they were glad that they knew...that it would help them to understand us,the family, etc. better now and in the future... they felt that they could help me more rather than remaining in the dark and misinterpreting what was going on.....as for the other friends and family...it is a mixed bag in terms of their feelings about stuff....and you know what? over the past 10 months they have changed their opinions as well-have gone back and forth with me...
Dr. Harley who wrote His Needs,Her Needs-How to Affair Proof Your Marriage and he wrote After the Affair -he and others do believe that it is helpful when others know about the infidelity....that if someone is repentent and comes back to the spouse keeping the affair a secret lets the wayward spouse off the hook in a sense and allows for the possibility of having another affair in the future... society...knowing...family members knowing... keeps them honest in a way...that you did this, you are sorry, you regret your actions, you want to come back to the spouse and work on a better marriage and you know that if you ever do it again, ever hurt and betray your spouse again...you will also be betraying the trust of your friends and family.... you are in effect making a promise to all of them as well.
In fact, my husband did apologize to my friends and family members for hurting me in this way....
He has already made some communications with my family about being sorry for hurting me and my kids. I also am making him come clean with his own parents who I already know love and adore me. They know something is going on, but not all the details. I have asked him to give them the whole story. As Dr Phil has always said, you can't fix something if you don't own it first. I feel by others knowing, it is making him really own it and not just making amends to me.
rita 21, that is so wild to hear that your MIL wanted you to get rid of your husband or at least get him out of the house. I am soooo glad for you that she did not want to take his side as most parents might do.
Thank you all for your words of wisdom