Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

4,278 Members
17,906 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Infidelity Support Group

what now?

deleted_user
deleted_user
Husband is verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive. He breaks things threatens me and kids, and then threatens to commit suicide. He is extremely possessive and controlling. Has wanted to 'hook-up' with other couples and has forced me with someone when I was drunk. He was my first and I was 13 and he was 19. I have so much hate and anger toward him. He scares me at the same time. We fight every day, whether together or not because he won't leave me alone. I met someone who listened to me and cared about me and treated me with respect. He adored the kids and wanted to help. I fell head over heels for him. When my husband found out, he went on a rollercoaster of emotions and wants to change. He wants me back. I do not want to go back to him. I want to leave. I have wanted to leave for a long time and have been afraid. How can he change after 16 years. Our relationship was based on all of his lies. I can't get him to leave me alone and had to send the om away because I'm scared of what he will do to him. I don't know what to do from here. I should have left him before the affair, but felt so alone and was afraid. The om made me feel like I mattered and I should not suffer like this anymore. Like I can make a better life for myself and kids. But now that support system is gone and I'm terrified again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The best thing that you can do for yourself and your kids is to get a protective order against your husband. There are laws to protect you. And as far as the OM is concerned, you shouldn't even be thinking of another relationship until you have healed the wounds from the one with your husband. It's not fair to the OM to expect something from you that you are not emotionally stable enough to give at this point in your life. You have a long road ahead to heal and be good to yourself. So please don't make the mistake of involving someone else who is probably a good person into this terrible ordeal with your husband. Get the problem with your husband solved before you even consider moving forward into another relationship.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Follow Big Debbie's advice. You do not need to accept abuse of any kind. Your kids do not need to witness their mum dissapearing before their eyes or the cruelty unleashed on her everyday. You are their teacher, you are who they will learn how to be treated from. You are their strength and voice. If you can't find the strength and courage to leave him for you, then do it for them.

But also remember to be kind to yourself and to forgive yourself for what has happened and will happen. You were just a baby when you first got together and he is the only adult relationship you have known. Give yourself some time and room to decide how you want to live your life and whether in fact you are ready to step straight into another relationship.

Take care of yourself and I hope you find the strength and courage to leave him and find a better life.
Thriver
Thriver
First make sure you and your kids are safe. I also don't think you should start any relationships, not only because it endangers you all more, but because if you entered this abusive relationship at the age of 13, you probably do not have the skills to select a good partner. Please don't be offended. Many women go from one abusive relationship to another. You also have your kids to think about. They need some adjustment time and attention from you.
Let the dust settle and get this situation ironed out. It will take much more time and energy than you think, but you will be a stronger better person and your children will benefit.
Once you are able to stand on your own, is the only time you should be getting into a relationship. Cultivate friends and relatives for the support you need.
I wish you strength and luck.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: kisses2016
    7992
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: mujicaptsd
    2570
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...