Husband is verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive. He breaks things threatens me and kids, and then threatens to commit suicide. He is extremely possessive and controlling. Has wanted to 'hook-up' with other couples and has forced me with someone when I was drunk. He was my first and I was 13 and he was 19. I have so much hate and anger toward him. He scares me at the same time. We fight every day, whether together or not because he won't leave me alone. I met someone who listened to me and cared about me and treated me with respect. He adored the kids and wanted to help. I fell head over heels for him. When my husband found out, he went on a rollercoaster of emotions and wants to change. He wants me back. I do not want to go back to him. I want to leave. I have wanted to leave for a long time and have been afraid. How can he change after 16 years. Our relationship was based on all of his lies. I can't get him to leave me alone and had to send the om away because I'm scared of what he will do to him. I don't know what to do from here. I should have left him before the affair, but felt so alone and was afraid. The om made me feel like I mattered and I should not suffer like this anymore. Like I can make a better life for myself and kids. But now that support system is gone and I'm terrified again.