I can't figure myself out, I write the "Should I just be grateful post" so obviously I know I don't have it that bad, or I should say I could have it a lot worse. I love my H very much and we are doing amazingly well with working things out. Why is it some days I have to dwell on details? I know he is remorseful now, my problem is when he was physically with her what was he thinking, he acts like he wasn't himself, like he wasn't having fun he just didn't know how to get out of it. We both have read After the Affair and he himself can't believe what some cheaters have done. He doesn't feel like he is the same as other cheaters. He tells me he was not infactuated with her, he is trying to figure out himself why he let this happen. Can you really just be with the OP and not have a clue why?
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