Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Hi... I'm having trouble with unwanted images & thoughts of H & the OW having sex. Two months ago, I found all of the information & the yucky details (H did not answer most of my Q's about the A) by reading through the instant messages they sent back & forth. Ever since, I keep having these images replay... replay... replay...
I know what she looks like. I found a picture of her that H took (they were slide negatives. ewww) which were hidden inside a bag along with a doll that she had made for him. Seriously, who in the right mind would make a crocheted bear doll for a grown up man anyway??? And for H to keep it like some kind of a treasure... Blech!
One of their IM conversations were about reminiscing about the 10-day sex feast they had and that for the first time in his life, when he climaxed while she was giving him oral sex, his ears got tingly and he thought that she was so amazing... He even told her that was something he never experienced before (meaning w/ me...) I know, I shouldn't even be threatened by something like that, but it still bothers me that she was able to give something to my H that I haven't been able to. OR maybe he was just saying that to her to make her feel good. I dunno.
Two months later and I'm still having to go through this disgusting nightmare and he's acting like everything is ok. Last night, I was looking at a blown up picture H shot of London that is hanging on the wall (that's where she lives) and all of a sudden my heart started to race and the tears... out of nowhere. I wish he would take it down already. I'd have to tell him that, otherwise he'll never know that stuff like this still bothers me. The little reminders of the A.
Does anyone know what I'm feeling or talking about???
I know what she looks like. I found a picture of her that H took (they were slide negatives. ewww) which were hidden inside a bag along with a doll that she had made for him. Seriously, who in the right mind would make a crocheted bear doll for a grown up man anyway??? And for H to keep it like some kind of a treasure... Blech!
One of their IM conversations were about reminiscing about the 10-day sex feast they had and that for the first time in his life, when he climaxed while she was giving him oral sex, his ears got tingly and he thought that she was so amazing... He even told her that was something he never experienced before (meaning w/ me...) I know, I shouldn't even be threatened by something like that, but it still bothers me that she was able to give something to my H that I haven't been able to. OR maybe he was just saying that to her to make her feel good. I dunno.
Two months later and I'm still having to go through this disgusting nightmare and he's acting like everything is ok. Last night, I was looking at a blown up picture H shot of London that is hanging on the wall (that's where she lives) and all of a sudden my heart started to race and the tears... out of nowhere. I wish he would take it down already. I'd have to tell him that, otherwise he'll never know that stuff like this still bothers me. The little reminders of the A.
Does anyone know what I'm feeling or talking about???
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
So yes, I know what you mean.
"triggers". Places, colors, things". I have nightmeres and anxiety attacks now.
My regular therapist is now sending me to a specialist. It's EMDR therapy. It comes under the Post Tramatic Stress Disorder.
There aren't very many of these around, but I'm lucky there is one about 15 mi.
My dr. has to give a release and may not because I have high blood pressure, even with meds.
YES_ images or "triggers" are terible! I'll pray for you.
And knowing what HE looks like, it is also a blow to the self-esteem. He is almost 50, getting overweight, balding, UGLY. I am no GQ cover model myself, but I thought that I was a little better than that.
The reminders in terms of objects can be painful, too. Growstrong, you know that you can take that picture down, right? You have every right to do so.
2 months is a very short time. Frankly, the only thing that helped me with the thoughts and images was medication. Maybe not forever, but for now. Cymbalta helped a lot. It is normal to have these experiences and it would probably help to see a counselor or at least do some reading. You are having normal feelings and tell him the reminders have got to go.
Even to this day, H has yet to say he's sorry for putting me through this unbearable pain... It's only when I say to him what he did was very very wrong and that I cannot trust him like I used to, he would be like, "I'm sorry (not in a sincere way) but I can't change what happened..." UGH!? Does he not have any conscience??
Yeah, I should be able to take the photo down, but you see, H intimidates me so much. He will kill me if I touched his stuff without him saying ok... Why do I let this guy intimidate me so much? It's hard to respect him after what he has done. It's like I don't know this person any more...
Now, she's pregnant with his kid and moved out this week. BAD week for me.
So far, the only thing that's helped with the images is meds to make me fall asleep....