Here's my story, I became suspicious of wife when she often talked about a guy at work. She always seemed to defend him from management, talked about his after-hours business, and other things, little things, but always seemed to mention him. I decided to take a look at her phone. I found his number in her phone's memory, and only a few calls in her call log, no txt messages. When I looked at the phone bill I was completeley shocked, she averaged roughly 60 text messages per month, some months it was up to 200, and she spoke to him almost every day, calls lasting 5 minutes up to 1 hour, and at all hours of day and night, weekdays and weekends, some calls were at 2am! So here's the catch, just because your wife speaks to a co-worker doesn't mean she's having an affair, right? If such conversations happen and there is nothing going on, those calls would be made in front of the husband, such was not the case for me. This went on for a year that i am aware of, and not once did my wife call him in front of me. She hid this from me for a whole year. So come 11-19-06 and I found out. I felt as if I were punched in my stomach. We had just reached our 12 year marriage anniversary a few months earlier. I was devasted. Both 36 years old and two kids. I confronted her, she cried and cried and begged me to believe her that absolutely nothing went on between her and the other guy. She would not give in to admit that anything "wrong" happened, she insisted that "she did nothing wrong", at that point i pretty much withdrew from our marriage. Now here I am, 3 years later, and I am not able to get over this. Our marriage has suffered greatly, and I can honestly say that had it not been for our two kids I would have walked away without a thought. No I find myself often angry, in bad moods, constantly wondering what she's doing, wondering if she'll do the same thing again. She still works in the same place, with mostly men, postal carriers, and i hate what I've become. I am always thinking of ways to spy on her to see if I can catch her in the act, I hate doing this, this is not a healthy marriage, a husband and wife should trust each other. I used to believe that, and live by it, until out of suspicion I did some investigating that threw my marriage into a tornado. So now I've bugged our car, and today I spoke to her for about 30 minutes, mostly bickering, as that is mostly what we do now. Immediately after we spoke she called another guy at work, another carrier, and she spoke to him for about 10 minutes, a lot of very friendly conversation and lots of laughing on her end, she asked him about his upcoming birthday and if he was going to take the day off, then they spoke about a local park close by, then they spoke about something to do with cellulite, she told him, "yeah right, maybe you do" likely referring to him having cellulite. Then more laughing, the conversation lasted 10 minutes and there was very little talk of business, it was in my opinion a very personal call, so today after work I confront her. I asked her point blank. Today after we spoke did you speak to anyone? She flat out denied it. Completely denied it. Then I told her that I knew she spoke to someone for 10 minutes right after she spoke to me and then she all of a sudden remembered. Then she admitted to talking to a carrier at work but that it was all business. she doesn't know that I have the call recorded. I don't want to give it away so soon, I want to see if I can get more recordings, anyways, I know I'm rambling now, I guess I'd like some honest feedback, I know I may not be thinking straight right now, thanks.
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