OK, I just finished reading "Not Just Friends" and really only enjoyed the book because it was full of interesting factoids and tidbits. I am an information junkie. I remembered a recent discussion we had about not choosing people who will cheat to be future partners and how does one ever really know who will be a cheater and who won't.

The author is a therapist so she ascribed much of cheating behavior to childhood experiences. I really tried to ignore this because I think at some point, you've got to stop blaming Mommy and Daddy. Here is her description of people who tend to cheat versus those who don't:

"If you want to choose a mate who is likely to stay loyal, what would you look for? According to statistics, you should choose someone who devotedly attends religious services, has friends who support a monogamous lifestyle, lives in a small community, and has parents and grandparents who are straight arrows. Your potentially faithful partner would work alone, close to home, and wouldn't travel for business purposes.

If, on the other hand, you want to know whom to be wary of, statistics would steer you clear of someone who works in a condoning or encouraging occupational environment with attractive co-workers, travels with them for conferences, does not attend worship services or have strong religious beliefs, comes from a sexually liberal background, lives in a large metropolitan area, and has a history of parental infidelity.

None of these factors is a predictor of marital infidelity in any particular individual. But they do point to who is more likely to be unfaithful and who is more likely to be monogamous."

So, compared to the cheater in your situation are her descriptions accurate? My husband fits all but one of the traits of a cheater she describes. And I honestly don't think anyone fitting her description of the non-cheater exists.