Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
My H has been a serial cheater for years but I just recently got proof of it. He wants to try to hold our marriage together now, because of all he has to lose... both financially and his grown children being able to come over with the grandchildren.
When I go back and read emails and letters I wrote to him over many yearstelling him how I felt by his lack of being "present" in our relationship and his name calling of me... stupid, fat, etc.,I see that he has always been about himself and not us. It was a charade. He hasn't made love to me in over 10 years and now he wants to have champagne and a bubble bath tonight and give it a whirl. This was supposed to happen last night and didn't as he was tired and didn't make a move. Watching a car race on TV was more important.
For him to have simultaneous emotional relationships during all this time is hard to get a handle on and deal with. I feel dead inside as this has been a long journey for me trying to deal with his past lack of participation and the constant criticism. How do I get the "feeling" back to take this step now and make love after all this time of nothing? I want to have a great relationship with him, but am I setting myself up for more hurt and "settling". Can he really change and become the husband to me that I need? Trust is a precious commodity but how can I trust him with all the baggage he has brought into our home that I am now carrying. It is Sunday and he said he would be at the office all day catching up because he is so far behind. This too has been going on for years. He is always behind. We never get to spend a whole day together.. because of work.
I am feeling worse rather than better since he said he would work on the marriage.
Is it too little too late?
When I go back and read emails and letters I wrote to him over many yearstelling him how I felt by his lack of being "present" in our relationship and his name calling of me... stupid, fat, etc.,I see that he has always been about himself and not us. It was a charade. He hasn't made love to me in over 10 years and now he wants to have champagne and a bubble bath tonight and give it a whirl. This was supposed to happen last night and didn't as he was tired and didn't make a move. Watching a car race on TV was more important.
For him to have simultaneous emotional relationships during all this time is hard to get a handle on and deal with. I feel dead inside as this has been a long journey for me trying to deal with his past lack of participation and the constant criticism. How do I get the "feeling" back to take this step now and make love after all this time of nothing? I want to have a great relationship with him, but am I setting myself up for more hurt and "settling". Can he really change and become the husband to me that I need? Trust is a precious commodity but how can I trust him with all the baggage he has brought into our home that I am now carrying. It is Sunday and he said he would be at the office all day catching up because he is so far behind. This too has been going on for years. He is always behind. We never get to spend a whole day together.. because of work.
I am feeling worse rather than better since he said he would work on the marriage.
Is it too little too late?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I do have to say that if my H hadn`t had sex with me in 10 years, or if he called me names like fat and stupid, or if spent tons of money and not tell me I would be seriously considering him not to be worth it..
I know you love him, but at what point do you start to love yourself more. This man doesnt seem to give a shit about you, but just protecting what is his..
I would try counseling and if that doesnt help or while you doing that, I would consider talking to a lawyer and setting up some options to take care of you
If you really do love him and he is willing to try counselling then it certainly couldn't hurt, but I don't see any point in going by yourself to try and make your marriage work - it takes two people who are prepared to work very hard, to repair a relationship after cheating.
so why am I trying yet again , because other then his cheating he is the most supportive and kind man. He helps around the house, does all the laundry, and even with me having issues with my leg(very limited use of it) he gets up with me in the middle of the night when it is hurting so bad that I cant sleep.. then goes to work and works a 12 hour shift so the bills stay paid..
so I do know about the hoping and the love, I guess just from looking at your posts I dont see that he shows you much love and support
Maybe it is time to kick him out!!