Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I'm new on this comm. but still have left over feelings from being betrayed. This was one person I would have never believed would have committed such selfish, serious to our relationships.
Actually one reason stuck with him for so long, as he could tick me off, plenty, lol. Now coming up on our 30th anniversary.
Have I forgiven him? Not yet. But, it may happen someday.
Do I believe he may do it again? Not really.I do believe he actually saw how it didn't just hurt me, but our families, children, grandchild-- he had lots of people who considered him a totally honest man, until he had an affair with his best friend's xwife.
However, she and I had been on outings together - before he ever showed any attention to her. Then, at grandson's 2nd birthday party, he sat beside her and it went from there. I didn't find out for four months.
It felt like, what I can imagine a shotgun had been fired directly at my heart at close
range. A great big crater of pain, shock, shame, guilt, disbelief, embarrassment, too many to list. But it hurt worse than I had ever endured.
We are not as intimate as before. Almost like we are content, but nothing exciting, but secure.
Hang in there people, it hurts like hell, but whether you go or stay; time lessens the pain. Hopefully, you will find happiness, or at least peace.
But, it still pops up in my mind. I can think of it, and it seems like yesterday sometimes and even the tears come from what so sacred was destroyed.
Actually one reason stuck with him for so long, as he could tick me off, plenty, lol. Now coming up on our 30th anniversary.
Have I forgiven him? Not yet. But, it may happen someday.
Do I believe he may do it again? Not really.I do believe he actually saw how it didn't just hurt me, but our families, children, grandchild-- he had lots of people who considered him a totally honest man, until he had an affair with his best friend's xwife.
However, she and I had been on outings together - before he ever showed any attention to her. Then, at grandson's 2nd birthday party, he sat beside her and it went from there. I didn't find out for four months.
It felt like, what I can imagine a shotgun had been fired directly at my heart at close
range. A great big crater of pain, shock, shame, guilt, disbelief, embarrassment, too many to list. But it hurt worse than I had ever endured.
We are not as intimate as before. Almost like we are content, but nothing exciting, but secure.
Hang in there people, it hurts like hell, but whether you go or stay; time lessens the pain. Hopefully, you will find happiness, or at least peace.
But, it still pops up in my mind. I can think of it, and it seems like yesterday sometimes and even the tears come from what so sacred was destroyed.
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
You lose a part of yourself, as SO is "part of you" in some ways. If your relationship was close.
Thanks for sharing. I am at 26 months. I think I am coming to understanding the reality that you describe.
We have been together 15 years and married for 13.
When I first found out, I could not believe the amount of pain I experienced. A year later, I could not believe I was still reeling and crying daily. I did not believe that the pain would ever even be bearable. I stayed, for a lot of reasons, mostly though because leaving would not have stopped the pain and having him with me, trying to help was better...I guess.
Now, the pain is gradually subsiding. I cry a little, a few times a week, but mostly have accepted the things that seemed so impossible two years ago.
I think that is the key. Acceptance, maybe acceptance is the beginning of forgiveness. It was very hard to see my husband as a man who could lie and cheat. He was? such a good man.
I can see the good again but now I will never forget the hatred I saw in his eyes, the anger, at me, for being angry. The deception, so perfect, that even now, he could be lying. There were no clues.
I dont think he is cheating right now, really, but I could never say I think he wont in the future. He is someone who can live with himself and me, while doing that. Incomprehensible to me.
I don't know that I could live with him if I thought he "might" do it again. He used to be trustworthy, and he told me he would NEVER do anything like this again, so, I guess I have somewhat trusted him, or I wouldn't be here.
Thanks for the response, it helped me to clarify my own feelings.