Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I just want to share with you some new feelings. My parents, both alive, have been married to each other for 65 years. Yesterday my dad (91) was feeling worse after several days of discomfort and not eating and sleeping.
my husband (MD) went down to check him out and immediately insisted we call an ambulance and get him to the hospital.
Good call!
Apparently he has a lot of fluid in his lungs, severe congestive heart failure and poor kidney function.
2 ambulances arrived and a fire truck. The house was full of about 10 firemen and paramedics. Mom went with him and when we went to pick her up, he was looking a little better but had millions of tubes and stuff stuck in him. This is the first time he has ever been in a hospital but he has such a good attitude.
What bothered me was the doctor asking me if we should try to resusitate him if it came to that.
H told him to try aggressive treatment first but if it did not work "do not resusitate".
That sounds so horrible but I have to agree that it would be best (quality of life).
It made me think of my own heart. It still hurts, (it hasn't been 2 months yet since I found out about the other "2" W), but should I be in a mental DNR mood for myself and my own heart? Life is very short and you don't know when your last day on earth will be. No guarantees. Each day we have to make choices and as humans we are all frail. My H probably saved my dad's life for the moment. At least he has a chance at recovery. His caring about my family means a lot to me. H made bad choices by sharing his emotions with OW, but instrinsically he is a good man. It'a a weight and balance thing. Is what he has done unforgiveable? Perhaps not when you look at the big picture. He saves lives, is always under a lot of pressures making life and death decisions, and maybe he will see that he almost lost one that didn't need to be lost. There is always hope for a better tomorrow. I believe that a better tomorrow starts with us (the victims). We need to have and be the strength to see this through if that is what we want in our hearts.
My dad's heart has been beating faithfully for 91 years. My prayer is for my H to have a faithful heart for me for the rest of my life. Life is too short not to try to work out some happiness for and with each other. Like I said earlier, there are no guarantees. I don't want to die PO'd when I can make the choice now to be a forgiving wife and build a new and happier future together again. Almost losing someone to death puts a new perspective on many other parts of our lives.
my husband (MD) went down to check him out and immediately insisted we call an ambulance and get him to the hospital.
Good call!
Apparently he has a lot of fluid in his lungs, severe congestive heart failure and poor kidney function.
2 ambulances arrived and a fire truck. The house was full of about 10 firemen and paramedics. Mom went with him and when we went to pick her up, he was looking a little better but had millions of tubes and stuff stuck in him. This is the first time he has ever been in a hospital but he has such a good attitude.
What bothered me was the doctor asking me if we should try to resusitate him if it came to that.
H told him to try aggressive treatment first but if it did not work "do not resusitate".
That sounds so horrible but I have to agree that it would be best (quality of life).
It made me think of my own heart. It still hurts, (it hasn't been 2 months yet since I found out about the other "2" W), but should I be in a mental DNR mood for myself and my own heart? Life is very short and you don't know when your last day on earth will be. No guarantees. Each day we have to make choices and as humans we are all frail. My H probably saved my dad's life for the moment. At least he has a chance at recovery. His caring about my family means a lot to me. H made bad choices by sharing his emotions with OW, but instrinsically he is a good man. It'a a weight and balance thing. Is what he has done unforgiveable? Perhaps not when you look at the big picture. He saves lives, is always under a lot of pressures making life and death decisions, and maybe he will see that he almost lost one that didn't need to be lost. There is always hope for a better tomorrow. I believe that a better tomorrow starts with us (the victims). We need to have and be the strength to see this through if that is what we want in our hearts.
My dad's heart has been beating faithfully for 91 years. My prayer is for my H to have a faithful heart for me for the rest of my life. Life is too short not to try to work out some happiness for and with each other. Like I said earlier, there are no guarantees. I don't want to die PO'd when I can make the choice now to be a forgiving wife and build a new and happier future together again. Almost losing someone to death puts a new perspective on many other parts of our lives.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
God bless you! You are right about living in the "Moment." My Mom has terminal cancer & may not live through the end of the year.She remained married to my Father for over twenty years knowing full well that he had affairs throughout their entire marriage. They divorced when I was 21 and he married his Mistress of 10 years. When I learned of my H's affair I called my Step Mom and asked her how it felt to know she destroed so many lives because of her selfishness? I told her what their affair did to my family & I just wondered how the OW felt by lying & having so many secrets for so many years? She told me she loved my Dad & was willing to wait for as long as it took to become his wife. I still have not an ounce of respect for this woman but my Dad loves her. Watching my Mom suffer from cancer is horrendous but she told me she forgave my Dad & still loves him to this day. She wants to be able to tell him goodbye but my Dad wants to bring his wife w/ him. My Sister & Brother's are so pissed that he is still so selfish but I think he needs her emotional support. I'm hoping there can be some forgiveness here? I love my H more today then I ever have in my life. We both realize now the importance of trust and unconditional love. He has been my rock through all of this & I know that someday death will separate us. I hope I go first because I couldn't bear losing him again. It's so sad whne you lose the ones you love the most. I am praying for you to have peace where your Dad is concerned. I am w/ you in spirit.
When some of these things happen that has happened to a lot of people on this board, it is hard to get past the moment. For instance, I myself am pretty angry and frustrated right now, offshoots of the hurt I guess. I guess I lose sight of the fact that there are no guarantees that life may not end tomorrow. Just like I did not think that there was a chance that a relationship would be over. Sometimes focusing on the little picture can make you lose out on a lot because of not looking at the big picture.
With that said, I do not think that most people can, or would, forget things that happen to us. Like it or not, they contribute to who we are and how we develop, good things and bad things. Remember, the big picture is made up of a lot of little pictures.
I guess the key is to not dwell on the little things but move through them, healing and learning and then figuring out how they fit into the big picture.
I hope your dad will be OK. It is great to hear that your H has not shut himself off to the point where he could not help you out here in this situation with your dad - not all people are like that.
Can you forgive him? Would he do it again? Can he regain trust and honesty with you? I guess those are questions that you have to ask yourself when considering how much of a "little thing" that this is now and later...
Good luck, hope that things with H and your dad get less stressful....