I guess all of us that have been betrayed have the same basic problem to get over. That our spouse just doesn't want us, does not want to be part of our life and did not care enough about us to protect us from the pain of their betrayal, their abandonment, the lies, the loss of a shared life and history and family. The person who was once fully rooted in your life is gone. If we can just accept that just accept fully in our bones that this is our reality then i think we could overcome all the anger, the jealousy, the anxiety, the despair of our situations. I think for me all of these other emotions surround my core to protect me from the full frontal assault to me and all that i am. if i could just really accept the basic rejection all the other emotions will pale. That is our work. That is where we all end up eventually. He doesn't want me so does it make a difference who else he wants? No. He has abandoned me, does it make a difference where he is, no. He doesn't love me does it make a difference how he lied and covered up his actions to get out of the marriage, no. All i can do now is accept it and stand up for what i myself believe. Stand up for how i choose to live my own life. Though i am starting from a point of utter sadness that i may have been so wrong about the character of the man i thought i knew so well, that is real. the pain is real. the time it will take to heal is real. I am real. When the time is right i suppose we find the resources within ourselves to make us equal to the rebuilding of our lives.
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