I've been married for 17 years, but been with my H for 24 years. 3 kids. In a nut shell, he cheated with one of "our friends" (whom he also works with) for 9 months. Recently discovered emails from H to someone he worked with (who also is my friend). The emails were few, didn't have any sexual content, just some "i love you, and i miss you" stuff. I confronted him. He fluffed it off as a "friendship that was growing too close". They used "inappropraite wording" in their emails. He said he wouldn't email her anymore, etc. etc. I confronted her and she said I was overreacting, they were just close friends. Something in my gut told me that close friends just don't say I love you and miss you. I had asked him all the questions, did you have sex, did you kiss her, all the questions. He denied everything. About three weeks later I looked in another email account he had and found numerous emails from him to her and vis-versa, detailing hotel visits at lunch, etc. etc. I confronted him, he admitted to "it all" and said it was a big mistake. I asked him if he had had ANY contact with her in between me finding the first set of emails to this set of email, he said no. Her husband called me (the same day I confronted my husband about it) and said they were together two days before!! So he lied again. Then I started to piece other emails together and was asking him questions about stuff and he just kept denying stuff. Then finally one day, about 6 weeks after the first confrontation, he came home and said ok I said it was a 6 month affair it was 9 months really and we were together many more times. I just don't understand all the lies and stuff. It's been about 3 months since I found the first set of email, and about 6 weeks since "all has been revealed. How do you get past it? How do you decide whether or not to keep him? How do you decide what is best for you and the kids? The pressure of it all is overwhelming.
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