I have been thinking of this alot since it has come up on alot of postings. Who was to "blame" for the affair? There seems to be alot of division in the answer to that. Some saying "you can't blame the OP, they didn't make the vows." THEY didn't cheat on you. While I do agree with that statement, I still think it doesn't begin to look at the big picture. Did the OP "cheat" on me? No...BUT this person knew my husband was married, knew me and our children, yet CHOSE to go after him full force anyway. Did he have to give in? No, absolutely not, but where does the responsibility sit with a person who sees nothing wrong in attacking someone's family? Her excuse has been all along that "well, they were having problems." Does that even make sense to make it ok? She saw a vulnerable man who needed a friend, and she saw an opportunity to take my life. Someone said, well if it hadn't been that person, it would have been someone else. How can any of us know that? What if the OP had said, "hey, look at your marriage first, if you're that unhappy, maybe you should get out BEFORE you do something like this." But, they didn't, to me that is just beyond my understanding how someone can do that to another person. Like I said, she KNEW me, KNEW my children, yet thought NOTHING of us, except that she wanted MY husband and my children and my entire world. Do I blame her as the only cause? No...but responsible as well? Your damn right. Now what do you say to them when they STILL won't let go? Do you think our spouses EVER thought THAT one thru?
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