
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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back in august, after a serious disstnt period with my bf, i found some really inappropriate texts on his phone. he had gotten so distant that i was curious. also, he took his cell EVERYWHERE wiht him. even to take a quick pee. i knew there has to be something questionable on the phone because he was so protective of it. the messages were between him and his aunt by marriage. this was a person that i trusted totally along with him. i even welcomed her into our home on a reg basis. she even had a key. they talked sexally to each other and even told each other that they loved one another. they had always said "love you" before, but this was after a sexual conversation. he says that the conversation just started one day and was carried too far. but i found out that he had done some of this texting while he was in the same room with me!!! they have since broken almost all contact, but i'm still obbsessing over it. i still get sick to my stomach when i think about her in any way. i don't know how i will react as the holidays come and go and i have to see her. he and his uncle were REALLY close because they are close in age, and i know that we will bump into one another. how do i deal with this?
i feel betrayed and like he might as well have actually had an affair. is that unreasonalble? to me the "text sex" was just as intimate and was wrong enough that he knew to hide it.
we bought house together last december and will someday get married, but after the whole issue with the betrayal, i'm having a hard time getting over the whole thing. how do i stop obsessing and truly forgive?
i feel betrayed and like he might as well have actually had an affair. is that unreasonalble? to me the "text sex" was just as intimate and was wrong enough that he knew to hide it.
we bought house together last december and will someday get married, but after the whole issue with the betrayal, i'm having a hard time getting over the whole thing. how do i stop obsessing and truly forgive?
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I'm sorry he's done this to you. Getting over the betrayal is so difficult sometimes. I know with me, the cell phone is such a source of anguish that we cancelled our plan. He used it as a tool in his dirty deeds and everytime I'd hear it ring or beep I'd want to hurl it out into the street. *hugs*
HE DID HAVE AN AFFAIR! Texting, computer, phone sex, any emotional or sexual relationship that one keeps a secret from spouses IS an affair!
That being said, you need to validate your feelings as legitimate. You need to see this as a trauma and very BAD sign, in your relationship.
He chose to go outside of the relationship because there were some tough life issues?
That is a piss poor way of coping with stress and if he does not examine other motives, as well as this "coping" reason, what is to stop him from doing it again. Life is stressful! How we handle it is evidence of our character.
Under no circumstances should you have to play nice towards his affair partner, for the sake of holiday get-togethers or any other reason!
* That is ANOTHER example of his lack of concern for your feelings. Those events that do or may include her, you and he may have to excuse yourself from...at least this year!
I am also recommending that you consider speaking to HER and telling her that she needs to tell her husband what happened, before you do.
Give her a week or so, then call him. Why? Would you want to be at these "family" events and be unaware? If your husband's uncle had been the one who found out, would you want him to keep you in the dark and to feel like a complete fool?
I know it will cause family strife. You did not cause it though, your husband and his aunt did.
Secrets always come out.