
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
I've been married for 19 going on 20 years.. My wife is a good person. I consider her a great partner as well.
The basic problem is I'm no longer in love with my wife, and I'm not willing to invest anything - emotion, time, money to make the relationship better. I'm not going to go through the list of issues we've had, but there's never been any infidelity on either side.
I think the biggest issue is I live every day to improve. I like to set goals and move ahead in life. My wife is a status quo person. The two life philosophies clash on many different fronts and it gets really old.
Honestly, if I didn't have 2 great kids whom I love more than anything in the world, I would have been gone a long time ago.
The challenge for me right now is my sex drive is at an all time high... I'm 42 but I still enjoy sex as much as I did in my 20's... With our infrequent and less than stellar love making sessions, I'm really getting the itch to find someone to satisfy this need.
Once my kids both are in or graduated from college, I will file for divorce. I've shared this with my wife. She says that's not what she wants, but she never brings it up again.. almost as if it was never said or she's in denial.
What say you..? And don't give me the "work it out" "go to counseling" "candle lit romantic dinner" rote BS. What's the best way for all parties to move on with the least amount of damage...
The basic problem is I'm no longer in love with my wife, and I'm not willing to invest anything - emotion, time, money to make the relationship better. I'm not going to go through the list of issues we've had, but there's never been any infidelity on either side.
I think the biggest issue is I live every day to improve. I like to set goals and move ahead in life. My wife is a status quo person. The two life philosophies clash on many different fronts and it gets really old.
Honestly, if I didn't have 2 great kids whom I love more than anything in the world, I would have been gone a long time ago.
The challenge for me right now is my sex drive is at an all time high... I'm 42 but I still enjoy sex as much as I did in my 20's... With our infrequent and less than stellar love making sessions, I'm really getting the itch to find someone to satisfy this need.
Once my kids both are in or graduated from college, I will file for divorce. I've shared this with my wife. She says that's not what she wants, but she never brings it up again.. almost as if it was never said or she's in denial.
What say you..? And don't give me the "work it out" "go to counseling" "candle lit romantic dinner" rote BS. What's the best way for all parties to move on with the least amount of damage...
Posts You May Be Interested In
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I think the best way to describe the situation is I'm kind of resigned to the inevitable if that makes sense. Don't get me wrong, my wife is a great person, but we've become incompatible over the years. We've gone in different directions, which makes moving forward together virtually impossible.
I've thought about leaving now, but my kids would be devastated. I spend a lot of time with both of them, and they're doing really well in school, etc. I don't want any failure on our part (my wife & I) to hurt them now in any way. I just feel that, as adults, they'll be able to deal with the issue better.... Not that it will be easy, but maybe easier to understand/digest...
Frankly, I don't want another relationship either so an "affair" most likely won't happen.
If my wife was willing to change and move forward, I would probably stay in the relationship. Unfortunately, she's stuck in a rut and she has no desire to get out...
She knows exactly where I stand. I'm not the type who sleeps around or has affairs. I'm a great provider; I'm in good shape; I'm an outstanding father... Anyway, you get the picture. I truly believe I've done my part.
Unfortunately, it's not a two way street in terms of effort level.
I put my kids needs ahead of my own. I know that might be contrary to what's popular today in our "me" society; however, I truly believe that those two people I brought into this world are my legacy. I will not deliberately hurt them in any way, shape or form.
I struggle with this, as my desire to be in an intimate healthy relationship is in direct conflict with my belief about my kids. My kids will win in the end, but it's very difficult sometimes.
Good luck to you, and I hope that you are able to provide your wife with the choice of 'change', before you feel the need to find another relationship elsewhere.
Gull - thank you as well... Yes, we've had very long, detailed conversations about my unhappiness - not just in the bedroom but with the relationship overall. I've told her many times that if the opportunity presented itself to have sex outside the marriage, that I would probably do it. I put her on notice so to speak.
In the end, nothing has changed... Sex is a symptom of the overall problem in our relationship. It's really about two people who have gone different directions - or one (me) who likes continued change and improvement. My wife can just live status quo without a care in the world. That's not me and this difference is a major problem.
On the tension issue, I'm way past tension. I'm pretty much at resignation, so everything in our house is amicable. We sleep in the same bed, talk frequently, etc. etc.
We basically have a partnership to raise our children. She says that's not what she wants, but she does nothing to work on those areas in the relationship that have failed. I have done everything to work on those areas. Like I said previously, and I know this will sound arrogant, but the reality is I'm a great provider, husband, father, lover, neighbor, etc. I do it all, and I do it well. I'm in good shape. I make very good money. I attend all my kids games, practices, recitals, etc. I won't talk about my sex life in detail, but I'm skilled in that department as well.
In the end, my wife talks a good game. I know she loves me and I know she will be destroyed once I leave; however, she takes no action to improve. It's almost like she's paralyzed... I will always love my wife as a person. She's a great human being.
It's simply a fork in the road with a couple different outcomes. Whatever the outcome, I will be above board and treat my wife and kids with the dignity they deserve.