Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Well, this certainly has shaken my perspective. Long story short, and I've posted about this before, my best friend had an affair with a guy, ten years younger than her. They slept together back in Nov, he has a LT girlfriend, my friend is single. LT girlfriend finds out, stuff ends, and the guy has "found jesus" "wants to be a better man" "wants to live right". Not sure why this particular time made him chage his mind..evidently he has a history of cheating.
So, this week, he tells my friend he is going to ask his GF to marry him, and he thought it was right if he told her first so she didn't hear it from the grapevine.
UGH..now I have this friend, who is a wreck, going on and on and about how she doesn't think "their story is over" and how she had hoped that they two of them had so much water under the bridge, that he would dump the GF and give my friend a shot.
Where am I perplexed? Because I have been VERY HONEST about telling her how stupid she is, and how he is using her, and how selfish she is. ESPECIALLY after she saw what it did to me when my EX cheated.
So, now, I am on the edge: I'm on the verge of saying, "Look: HE DIDN'T WANT YOU. HE TOLD YOU HE WAS IN IT FOR THE CHASE. HE USED YOU. WHEN HE TOLD YOU HE HAD FEELINGS, HE WAS PROBABLY LYING! YOU ARE TEN YEARS OLDER THAN HIM AND HAVE A TEENAGE DAUGHTER! WHY WOULD HE WANT THAT WHEN HE CAN HAVE HER??? IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS WHY HE PICKED HER, JUST KNOW HE DID! DID YOU NOT SEE HOW EASILY HE CUT TIES WITH YOU??? GET OVER YOURSELF!
But, she is my friend. I have had to swallow the vmoit coming up in my mouth over this ridiculous lets-act-like-we-are-thirteen BS for a long time...and I'm about ready to blow my top.
So, this week, he tells my friend he is going to ask his GF to marry him, and he thought it was right if he told her first so she didn't hear it from the grapevine.
UGH..now I have this friend, who is a wreck, going on and on and about how she doesn't think "their story is over" and how she had hoped that they two of them had so much water under the bridge, that he would dump the GF and give my friend a shot.
Where am I perplexed? Because I have been VERY HONEST about telling her how stupid she is, and how he is using her, and how selfish she is. ESPECIALLY after she saw what it did to me when my EX cheated.
So, now, I am on the edge: I'm on the verge of saying, "Look: HE DIDN'T WANT YOU. HE TOLD YOU HE WAS IN IT FOR THE CHASE. HE USED YOU. WHEN HE TOLD YOU HE HAD FEELINGS, HE WAS PROBABLY LYING! YOU ARE TEN YEARS OLDER THAN HIM AND HAVE A TEENAGE DAUGHTER! WHY WOULD HE WANT THAT WHEN HE CAN HAVE HER??? IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS WHY HE PICKED HER, JUST KNOW HE DID! DID YOU NOT SEE HOW EASILY HE CUT TIES WITH YOU??? GET OVER YOURSELF!
But, she is my friend. I have had to swallow the vmoit coming up in my mouth over this ridiculous lets-act-like-we-are-thirteen BS for a long time...and I'm about ready to blow my top.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
No offense, but I think you ought to step back from discussing every single event in her romances with her.
Do you have a life of your own? Might be time to show her how to behave by having a healthy romance of your own.
It's probably best to just say you're burned out from hearing about him and to please change the subject and not bring him up again for a while.
To everyone else with constructive input, I told her this weekend to grow the F up and to stop bugging me with dumb shit. I also told her she might want to consider therapy because I'm trying to rebuild my life and it's a big weight on my shoulders to be the only one who knows about this crap, especially when he is a coworker of ours.
I think it's done. I have been wanting to let this all out to her since this BS started. I love her, but if it offends her, so be it. I can't fix my business and constantly have her dtuff crammed down my throat.
Thanks so much, to most of you, for your input! :)