I left DS for couple of weeks - I'm not sure why, maybe I thought I was getting "better" or maybe my relationship was "healing"? Or I was just trying to supress all of my pain. I know for sure that if I honestly look into my heart, I'm still in so much pain... I'm trying so hard to suppress it to survive on a daily basis. I would like to make my marriage work, but I also am so tired of feeling hurt... I know I will never trust my H again. He wants to work on our marriage, but the constant triggers & thoughts I have, seem to bring out the most aggressive part of me. I scream, I throw, I just try so hard to contain everything, but it seems as though I'm just not strong enough to keep it all bottled up. I feel like Dr.Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. At one moment I'm nice pleasant& poised(pretending this situation isn't so bad), then with one, single trigger I explode! What am I to do? How do I maintain my sainty?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...