Last night it really hit me how bad I was feeling.... and it is not just about the infidelity anymore. H has not talked to me for days and yesterday I got an email from him saying he had an overnight meeting in the next province and would be back today, which I believe he is. Why the short notice to me? Why is he the one who is angry with me? He is like an onion and I have managed to peel some layers off him showing how deceptive on so many levels he has been for years. He has spent money like a drunken sailor, on cars, airplanes and anything else he wanted taking no responsibility for our future financial security. His answer was always "I make a lot of money", but he did a lot of this without my knowledge. In fact he slid money sideways (like a normal person's annual salary). When that came to light he said he had lent someone at work $5000 and gave the other unrelated company we started in 1998 $10K and he could not tell me what that was for. I checked with our accounting department and he had not given them the 10K, but I did confirm the 5K as to what he said. It seems he always mixes in "some " truth with all the lies. The rest of the money went to building an airplane with a friend and more cars both here and in England. He has essentially been living his own life for years and was just giving me enough attention to keep me quiet. All I could think of last night was "how could he do this?" I really think that he is unable to deal with anyone knowing his true character which is now coming to light. That "anyone" is me. We could have worked through his "needs" for "things" together, but he never shared his dreams with me. He has made a financial as well as an emotional mess of our lives. I'm rambling a bit but I am just so worried about what he plans to do and the timing. I just can't focus on anything positive thinking about this mess. I am just starting to work up a real anger at him and the OW were just the tip of the iceberg. Actually "sociapathic" behaviour comes to mind. I don't think he thinks he did anything so wrong. Can anything be salvaged from this mess??
Posts You May Be Interested In
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...