Yesterday, I talked with my husband and told him I would not file for divorce or make a major decison regarding our relationship for 1 yr. 17 1/2 years is a long time to just throw away. I also left the door open for the possibility of us getting back together. This morning I relized something. He keeps saying he loves me and can\'t choose between me and his mistress. In reality he has chosen. He chose her. He is still seeing her and wants to give that relationship a chance and see where it goes. It will fail I know it. My husband is not an easy man to live with. I put up with so much bad to get to the good and his mistress has never had a succesful relationship. I will not be the consolation prize. I will not be second best. So this morning I decided that no matter what it is to late. Maybe if he stopped seeing her immediately, but he didn\'t. While I\'m at home crying my eyes out he is out with her. Should I tell him that he is never welcome back, or should I wait the year? The reason I wanted to wait a year was any decision I made right now would be one made by pure emotion. But the truth is I will never get over feeling like the consolation prize, second choice. I really do think it is to late. It is his loss, I just don\'t know if I should wait or go ahead and file for divorce. I just found proof of his mistress Christmas Day. I keep bouncing around like a ping pong ball.
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