Me and my husband been married for over 2 years now and we got a 6 month old baby boy. 2 weeks after i had our first son, he cheated on me, had a one night stand with a stupid bitch. He begged for forgivness and for me to stay with him. So its been about 5 months since i found out. I try so hard to forgive him because i love him so much. He gets upset with me when i am having a bad day because i am having lots of sad/bad thoughts and images of them. I have seen pictures of her and she aint much to look at but it still hurts so bad. I feel soo ugly and i hate how i look, i now got stretch marks on my belly, which was worth it cause i got my beatiful baby boy, i would do anything for him. I am so worried he will cheat again, and i am worring 24-7. I want to be attractive to him and only me, no other girl, but i know that is impossible, but i fear that if he finds a girl goodlooking he might want to cheat again or think about how he would want to bang her. He says he does not but i dont believe him. I found out 2 months ago that he said a comment about a girl at the grocerie shore, saying she had a nice ass and tits, is that right to do when married?? That really upset me. Am i that ugly? am i not good enough? I dont want to give up, i want to try but i feel i will never get over this. When he says something about me, saying i look sexy, i dont believe him, i think he lies whenever he says that. I dont want him to see me naked anymore. I feel so down about myself, i want to get better, i dont like feeling the way i do. Maybe we will never get better because i am to worried and scared that it will happen again, and i worry where he is at. I am afraid to be happy because i am afraid when i do,he will do it again.I kept talking about the grocerie thing and he told me to shut the hell up and that i am selfess , that i only care about myself and my looks. Thats not true, yes i feel ugly, but i cant help it, i dont want to feel that way, i dont want to worry about my looks so much but i do. I am not selfess, i just like to know i am attractive to him, but yet when he tells me i dont believe him. I dont know. Am i just wasteing my time???? Sorry for it being so long. I am soo confused...
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