Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after the transgression.

1 Online
1 Online

Secret email account

Does anyone know how to find out if someone has another email account? I\'m pretty sure there has to be but he only accesses it from his cell phone and that cell phone NEVER EVER leaves his possession.

Thanks for any advice I can get.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

As I learned, if the cell phone doesn't leave his possession he his hiding something. Just demand to see his phone if you can't sneak a peak while he is sleeping.
deleted_user
deleted_user

There is a web site called www.emailfinder.com
You have to pay, I think it was $30 for a one year membership, but I found it very helpful. $30 isn't much for your own sanity.
Just be careful. I know when my husband had a secret email address, he registered it under a fake name. Aren't they just sneaky!
deleted_user
deleted_user

do u know his normal email address and password? If so you can go to googlemail, yahoomail, hotmail, etc and put in that email address as if you had forgotten your password and username. They will send a message to the old account stating there isnt an account with them, or if there is they will give you instructions on how to get into the account.

Yes- I would grab the phone in the middle of the night and lock myself in the bathroom and find everything. Also- r u SURE he doesnt check it EVER at home? You could install a keylogger on your home computer then leave him alone in the house and check it later when he is gone. It would log every keystroke he makes. Are you on his phone account or is it only in his name?
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thank you!!

The phone is in MY name and, trust me, I check the records all the time. He's been caught SO many times, but they just get sneakier.

Why I'm still playing this damn game is beyond me but he's insisting that he's not doing anything wrong but I know better. As we have all been here, we know the signs. I'm not a dumb@## for God's sake. I, like you all, can smell a rat and know he's up to no good.

Anyway, he NEVER leaves that phone unattended and if he does, he shuts if off AND deletes all the history from his internet. Not to mention, once it's shut down, any pages he's had open on the internet disappear. That's how I found his last email. He's had 4. Ya, I know. I'm an idiot.

Beware of the friggin iphone. They're a cheater's best friend!!!!

This is just all wrong!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

LoyalGirl we seem to be in the same shoes. If I didn't know any better I'd think it was something I'd typed. Let me know if you have any luck, I keep coming up empty. My husband's latest is "I just work with her! All texts are work related!" Well wonder why that's the only female in the work place that it's necessary to text?! Especially when they're in the same building--I must have that dumb@ss thing going on too.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ya. I'll let you know. It's like we're all living parallel lives with these sneaky cheats. I can tell you I'm not tolerating anymore of this crap. When I find out - AND I WILL FIND OUT - I pity the fool!!! (didn't Mr. T say that?) lol
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ugh. . what is it with men and their cell phones. My BF NEVER EVER leaves his cell phone unattended. For awhile he even had his text messages password protected. .turns out he was having an affair with our neighbor. After I agreed to come home he left the cell phone out more. . as of late. .it's been attached to him again. His facebook account is hooked to that thing and that's where he talks to all these girls that he "went to high school with". . Sometimes you really have to pick your battles. . but my best advice is to ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS trust your instincts, if you're feeling something isn't right. . it probably isn't! Men are extremely sneaky! I found my BF registered on sites like AshleyMadison.com and Fling.com and after I confronted him about it. .from that point forward he started deleting ALL of his past sites.. They are smart. .especially when they are trying to NOT get caught! I*d be more concerned with finding out what's going on via cell phone than email. . cell phones your less likely to get caught bc the delete button is right there @ all times. Good luck!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Why are you girls staying with these fools?

I can see staying with someone who is doing everything to straighten up...including quitting the job and getting another one...but you all are hanging around for more cheating BS? It doesn't make any sense.

Take it from a 50 year old...get out NOW while you are young and can build a life with a decent man. Life is too short to give an idiot the best years of your life.

Kick these losers to the curb where they belong.
deleted_user
deleted_user

What CarolAnnie said, there is no transparancy how can there be the start of trust?
rel8
rel8

I'm 50 too and I agree with CarolAnnie. My husband didn't cheat until we were married 30 years. If he would have cheated and continued to play games when we were younger, I would have been outta there.

Don't waste your best years on a someone who continues to play games. It's not worth it!
deleted_user
deleted_user

When he looks at his cell...you MUST ask him if you can see who he is writing to via text. He will say a lie. My husband said it was business emails...I believed him and look back at it wondering how dumb was I? You say to him, "who are you writing/texting to?" He will say, it's business (or whatever). You say, "can I see?" He will probably say no. you must insist!! I waited...and found out after that there were pages after pages after pages of text messages before the physical affair even started. In hindsight, had I demanded to see what he was doing, I may have been able to stop the progression of the affair. You have every right to ask what is on the cells/emails, etc. ASK.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Loyal -
I am so sorry to see that you have to worry about this and from your response I see that this is not the first time.
I've been there - I have two little boys and I have been in your place of trying to find evidence - - AGAIN - - and finally - when I found the evidence AGAIN - - I made the decision to divorce. My husband told me he would change - we went to therapy for more than a year - but the bottom line that I should have seen with him is that he wasn't going to change. I get it when someone messes up once and feels awful and does everything possible to fix the marriage. It doesn't sound like your man is doing this. Mine didn't either. Getting a divorce isn't easy BUT I have found so much peace in no longer having to worry or care about him sneaking around. A huge weight has been lifted from me and as painful as I know this divorce will be for the children once they find out - I also know that it wasn't fair for me to give up my life and future for a man who wasn't going to change.
My soon to be ex husband LIVES with his phone by his side - even now that I have filed for divorce - it is ALWAYS with him - I was helping our son in the bathroom this morning and my husband was in the shower and the phone was sitting right there by the shower curtain - wouldn't want to miss a text from the girlfriend! - I am so relieved to not care at all what is on it.
I am hoping for you and sending you hugs - it sucks to be in that position.
deleted_user
deleted_user

"Why are you girls staying with these fools? "

Exactly!! I completely agree with CarolAnnie.. He is cheating.. and lying.. and betraying.. And not caring about your feelings.. not repenting.. showing no signs of improvement....
Geez.. those are more than enough reasons to dump him and move on!!!

As Sparkles said, if its work related, he should have no problems in showing you the messages..

If nothing works, kick him between his legs and take the phone!!! :P Hehe.. he deserves it!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

My husband had 4 secret email addresses. Because we've been married so long, his passwords were predictable.
deleted_user
deleted_user

have you signed up on line with cell phone provider. there you should be able to get an itemised listing of all calls placed on that number and all incoming calls as well. the site is password protected as well you should be the only one who has excess to that information. good luck.