I found out that my recent ex has been seeing someone. so the outburst last friday i guess was right on he did get all he wanted and he doesnt need me anymore. he used me. i let him. the fling is another co worker she looks at me everyday and smiles, says hi, and makes conversation. I just want to die. I have never had thoughts like this b4, im scared. scared to see them today scared to go to work. I almost cant cry. i know im bewtter off not here. i really fucked this up and i see only one way out. a road i have never seen b4 and always been afraid of...oh fuck i dont know what to do...i dont want to be here anymore. for the first time i think its time to find a more permant solution....im sinking so fast...
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