Well i am sitting here at work unable to concentrate, shaking trying not to cry. the marriage is not salvageable. i tried. i gave every bit of myself and him every chance and he rejects me over and over in one way or another. i cannot do it again. his waffling is just another rejection. he will never feel the pain i feel. Nothing has changed in a year. His actions have not-but in the past he kept me hanging on by saying he was just not sure if he wanted a divorce. i wish i could hate him it would make it so much easier to bear. Today i keep remembering times when we laughed and had fun. too long ago. i did not do this i did not cause this yet i feel punished by it. he says he feels bad but it is just too late for us-he does not want to keep hurting me. i hate her for doing this to my family and i hope she feels great pain one day. it's just gone. all of it. i guess i am going to have to learn to be tougher minded when i get all emotional and feel so lonely for him. i wish i could just wipe this past year out of my life. Maybe i needed this to become stronger to realize i don't care enough about myself that i have value on my own, to learn to control my thoughts and emotions, to learn to let go, to learn not to trust blindly, i just feel so stupid right now...she is his boss and i just accused him of using her to get ahead on the job. it just sort of came out of my mouth. i don't think it's 100% true but as he is the one that always mentions money and not being where he should be financially in life and never having money to do anything-it has crossed my mind. Do you think someone could be that callous?
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...