Ok so Dday was two weeks ago and my H seems extremely remorseful and wants to work out the marriage as do I. I have set forth ground rules that will make him transparent, such as access to all emails, his credit cards, his cell phone, any money he spends there is a receipt for me to view etc. We are going to be starting MC this week. SO my question is H has agreed to become completely transparent, yet when I follow through and ask for the receipt or his cell phone or anything for that matter it is done with an argument, reluctance and an accusation that I don't understand how he feels as he feels like a criminal. UM.....YEAH in a way you are a criminal is what I want to scream.
He stole my sense or security, trust and self esteem..... He ends up following through with the request in the end and realizes that he is being a jerk. Am I overreacting and not caring about his feelings or am I right to be upset by his reluctance? I do not deny that he is hurting by all of this as he knows that what he did could end out marriage forever. He claims that he does not want to see that happen and that he realizes that what he did was the worst thing ever. I want to work this out which is why I stayed after finding out about the A. But I am struggling with caring about his hurt feelings. How do you get over that so you can both heal and move forward?
Thanks for letting me rant! Oh I want to add that I also realize how lucky I am that he has been remorseful and forth coming when I ask questions about the A as many never get either one. Its when I ask him to prove that the A is over by the above guidelines that its a problem. It just makes me wonder if it really is over!