
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Do any of you feel even partly responsible for your spouse having an affair? Do you feel like if you had been more attentive, more loving etc it would have not happened? I am not saying that I made him go and screw someone else but I do think if I had changed a few of my attitudes/behaviors towards him it may not have happened.
Also what do you constitute as an affair. I have been reading so many posts trying to figure out exactly what an affair is? I have not had sex with another man since my h and I have been together but I did kiss someone else. Before you start to judge me let me explain, My H and I have been married for 13 years and we have 3 kids. He has left me 4 times , the first time I was Pregnant with baby 3, I moved out of my house and met with a lawyer. Well after the baby came we decided to work on our marriage. Fast forward to summer/fall of 2006, he decided he was not happy again and left. I stayed in our house and we went to counseling. Well in Dec 2006, he decided he wanted to work on us so he came home.Part of me thinks it was because of the holidays but anyway in Jan 07, I moved out again. That is when I started looking, I know it was wrong and I admitted my whole mistake to him. I met the guy that I met online, I put up my profile on dating websites the whole nine yards, he told me he wanted a divorce and I even went to the lawyer. So anyway fast forward I went back in May, left again in Aug and filed for divorce in Sept. We are not divorced yet and he once again wants to reconcile.
Many of his activities have come to light since we have been talking about getting back together. He has been having an affair since Jan. He says it is because of what I did but I think that is just an excuse. I ended my online chats with the guy and like I said I met him one time I kissed him and that was it. Am I cheater too? I really believed my marriage was over when I met him. I wanted someone to show me some attention to make me feel like I was worth something. Am I any better than him or am I a cheater just like he is.
Sorry so long I just really wanted some other opinions. I guess the good thing to come out of my little "affair" is that I have learned a whole lot about myself. I am no where near ready for another relationship. I realized my motives were so wrong and that I have to love myself before I can ask anyone else to.
Thank you for listening/reading
Also what do you constitute as an affair. I have been reading so many posts trying to figure out exactly what an affair is? I have not had sex with another man since my h and I have been together but I did kiss someone else. Before you start to judge me let me explain, My H and I have been married for 13 years and we have 3 kids. He has left me 4 times , the first time I was Pregnant with baby 3, I moved out of my house and met with a lawyer. Well after the baby came we decided to work on our marriage. Fast forward to summer/fall of 2006, he decided he was not happy again and left. I stayed in our house and we went to counseling. Well in Dec 2006, he decided he wanted to work on us so he came home.Part of me thinks it was because of the holidays but anyway in Jan 07, I moved out again. That is when I started looking, I know it was wrong and I admitted my whole mistake to him. I met the guy that I met online, I put up my profile on dating websites the whole nine yards, he told me he wanted a divorce and I even went to the lawyer. So anyway fast forward I went back in May, left again in Aug and filed for divorce in Sept. We are not divorced yet and he once again wants to reconcile.
Many of his activities have come to light since we have been talking about getting back together. He has been having an affair since Jan. He says it is because of what I did but I think that is just an excuse. I ended my online chats with the guy and like I said I met him one time I kissed him and that was it. Am I cheater too? I really believed my marriage was over when I met him. I wanted someone to show me some attention to make me feel like I was worth something. Am I any better than him or am I a cheater just like he is.
Sorry so long I just really wanted some other opinions. I guess the good thing to come out of my little "affair" is that I have learned a whole lot about myself. I am no where near ready for another relationship. I realized my motives were so wrong and that I have to love myself before I can ask anyone else to.
Thank you for listening/reading
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What do you guys think about my "affair"am I guilty as he is. He is having a really hard time letting my moment of weakness go. I really believed we were getting a divorce and was faithful up until he left me the 3rd time. I also never had sex with anyone else. He is still throwing it up in my face. Is it to cover his own guilt?
alright... you are taking way too much of the burden of his cheating on you.
Others have said it better, so i am leaving that part to them.
Now the part thati want to addressis the fact you had an emotional affair with someone, met them, kissed them... now... after that you broke it off... Basically, you got on that road, and started on it, figured out how wrong it was (for a mutitude o reasons), and turned around and got yourself back on the right track.
So, basically... you started, but you quickly stopped it when you got your head back on straight
As to what you did, it was crossing the line. I understand, I think, where you were and what your mindset was. You thought it was over. You probably should have waited until the divorce was finalized before you started looking again. And, I would NOT like my wife kissing another man. But, that is definitely not as bad as what she actually did. To have your wife sleep with another man is crushing. So, at least you didn't go through with that.
I know I was wrong, I should have waited until I was divorced but you know what they say about a wounded heart. I wanted for someone to love me and I make a mistake.I think what is so hard for me is that I admit what I did was wrong I have asked for forgiveness from God and my husband. My H feels like that his cheating was justified because I did what I did. That is so unfair, I did not make a good choice but I changed it and fixed myself.
I think the whole thing is that he is not happy with himself and he never will be. I am working on making me happy and everyday I find happiness in something new that I never thought I would myself. I am a good person and I deserve love, I deserve all the things he promised me and someday I will find them.
What did he do?
And you are right , and so wrong about one thing.
You do deserve to be loved.
But not by anyone else... you deserve to love yourself... and anything else is extra.
For whatever reason, it's a bad marriage. I don't condone his actions, and I don't blame you for yours. Are they both wrong..? Probably so.
This doesn't sound like a repairable relationship, but that's only from what you've shared.. Looks like too much damage has been done... Either way, I wish you both Godspeed.
Thanks so much