
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

deleted_user
Ok all, I need some help here. I am the cheater and my wife knows everything. We are talking and attempting to get our life back on track. However there are some definate questions that I need help with.
How do I tell my W that she is so special and I love her. But not so special that I kept my marriage vows.
We go round and round with this one all of the time and I am at a lack of words to explain to her that what I have done to our marriage in sense (to me) was nothing but sex no emotions were involved.
I understand that just having an A with someone may not be emotional to me but it was emotional to my W.
Thanks
p.s. I am a little slow in responding, I have to share time with others on the computer.
How do I tell my W that she is so special and I love her. But not so special that I kept my marriage vows.
We go round and round with this one all of the time and I am at a lack of words to explain to her that what I have done to our marriage in sense (to me) was nothing but sex no emotions were involved.
I understand that just having an A with someone may not be emotional to me but it was emotional to my W.
Thanks
p.s. I am a little slow in responding, I have to share time with others on the computer.
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you just really need to give her a lot of reassurance, let her know everyday that you love her and how sorry you are. just be there for her.....in every way. good luck.
Was it really worth it???
You are asking the one question that we all want to hear. I don't think we can answer that one for you. You have to figure out when did you ok this move to have sex with someone that wasn't your wife. I wish you luck you sound like one of the ones who realized what they did wrong, how it's affected not only their marriage, but their spouse.
I don't know if this may help but your wife may feel special again if you try to "woo" her again. Dust off those moves that initially snagged her, update them and try again.
You are fortunate your wife is allowing you to help her deal with this. it sounds as if you know that.
I have been angry with my husband for just over two years! A long time for anyone to have to deal with an angry wife.
I did not think I could ever feel special again.
But, the other day he did make a good point, when I was feeling sad and he said,
"I have never fought this hard for anyone in my life. I have walked away from friends lovers and relatives who I had far less conflict with. I walked away from the OW. I have not once even threatened to walk away from you."
It's true, he has hung in there and fought like the devil to keep me.
So maybe, if you stick by her as she works out these feelings and you realize that it odes sometimes take years, not months to really recover.
Not just frosting on top of a rancid cake but to REALLY recover.
Tell her, if you mean it, that you will stay and listen and search for answers to her questions until she is satisfied and then again, if need be. That might work.
I agree with you on the "it was just sex" comment. That's simply not true in any case. A person who cheats has gone outside their marriage for a reason. It isn't just sex. They have a need for companionship and attention from another person obviously. There is something deeper going on in the marriage that needs to be fixed.
BTW, it does not help me to hear from my cheating husband "it was just sex, it meant nothing," because it means so very much to me. He knew it would hurt me deeply and that's why he lied and deceived me, yet did it anyway. I think the less you say that, the better.