Thats so hard to answer and different for all..but for me I would say I let the past hurts enter my heart and mind because im not done with it yet..I havnt finished the process yet and when I do it stops affecting me.I used to get down on myself about this but relise now its just ME,who I am and how I deal with pain.I think its resonable to say that your struggling with the thought of your upcoming divorce because you took your vows seriously and honoured them..

You and I have received a huge blow to our spirit, confidence, and emotional selves. We don't have someone to fill that void. Our voids are filled with questions, pain, and loss. Want to get past this you may need to fill the void with other things. The world is not going to wait for us to find the closure that we may never find. Keep busy! Keep your head up and take one day at a time. Good look.

So sorry to hear your pain. I know I will not let alot of my H's affairs rest. I was just told by my "C" yesterday TO LET IT GO.I will not let it rest right now, I'm not ready too--I don't want to ever forget the fact that the man I love can hurt and destroy me for his own selfish wants.This is my way of keeping my back to wall so he can't stab another dagger into. Since your H is with another woman, take a deep breath tell yourself you are so much better then her, you would never see let alone sleep with a cheating husband of a trusting wife. There is a good chance she'll sleep with another womans husband even if she is with yours. I'm sure that thought has to be in the back of your husbands mind. Come on, can these guys be so completely STUPID? I know it's easy for someone else to say something and noone really knows what is best for another person, only that person can know. Be strong. I am a firm believer of what will be will be. Of course I still want to know the WHY's and How comes. Good Luck...

I think it's because it's so traumatic and devistating. When it happened to me I was in such shock to think the man I loved had the capacity to throw me (& our unborn child) away it's been really hard and takes a lot of effort to try to move on and not let it affect me today .....but it does. When he hurts me I immediately go back to that pain and hurt. It's just hard. It takes daily effort ...for me, anyway.

Sorry to hear that you are not able to work it out. Maybe this is for the best for the both of you. After all is said and done (divorce) you will be able to move on. You are the better person so do not let this bring you down.
As a side note it may take some time before you are over this, but please do not bring this to the table when you find another person to share your life with. He did not do this to you so he should not suffer. Yes you can tell him the reason but do not burden an otherwise clean slate with the past.

Good Luck and Keep your Head High

dunno , but he'll get his in time. and you will be rewarded and be a better person for walking alone during this, and dealing with the pain and everything else by yourself.you will be able to stand on your own two feet much better than he will be able to after his world falls apart and has no one to run to to shelter him .