if he's not truly sorry, then you shouldn't forgive him. It WAS a cold and callous thing to say to you.

He sounds like a manipulative, abusive wanker and darling you don't need someone to make you feel shit about yourself and beat yourself up over.

He has no clue that you are the one with the power to stay or leave. So use it!

Decide how you want to live your life and the person you want to be and fight for that, rather than to keep this ass in your life any longer. Show your kids how strong and fantastic their mum is and show them it's not ok to be treated this way.

Sorry my friend, but he does not deserve you.

He sounds like a manipulative, abusive wanker and darling you don't need someone to make you feel shit about yourself and beat yourself up over.

He has no clue that you are the one with the power to stay or leave. So use it!

Decide how you want to live your life and the person you want to be and fight for that, rather than to keep this ass in your life any longer. Show your kids how strong and fantastic their mum is and show them it's not ok to be treated this way.

Sorry my friend, but he does not deserve you.

I have heard that line before,, is his name by any chance Mike? LOL
I have been told recently by my counselor that we teach people how to treat us,, I am starting to see that in my everyday life!

Yes, he could get away with it, but why would he want to...
The reason is there is some underlining problems in his character..

I think all cheaters are too focused on the self... This is a world of self... self-centered, anything and everything for the self...

Never thinking about their partners, but always about themselves...

Ask him why he is so important....

Unfortunately that is the truth for some people. I know is something you don't want to hear, but you did ask him to tell you the truth and he did. You should not get mad to his response, even if it was cold and shallow. But he is being honest. Sometime the truth hurts, you just need to be ready to hear it, even if it hurts. The man I was with cheated on me and his ex wife, but that is the reason he kept on because it was the thrill of not getting caught, and unfortunately that is how it is for some. Good luck in you marriage if you decide to stay.

azari...my husband told me that too among other reason's. He never ever thought I would find out and I never would have if we didn't have the wonderful internet. But he also told me it was an ego boost, it made him feel good when he was with another women they all(3)knew he was married they didn't stand a chance in hell of him leaving them for me. He never spent any money on them. The OW knownly screwed a married man how special could they have been, and after seeing their pictures I do believe what my husband told me about "WHY" I also think am I madder at him for his affairs or the nasty, ugly women he picked.See what else he has to say, maybe there's more to his reasoning. If that's what you want to call it...GOOD LUCK !!!

wow... uh...I don't think there is ever a good enough reason for someone to cheat on a spouse after standing infront of everyone telling the world that they would forsake all others. But wow! That's a doozy. Does he feel guilty? Is he ashamed? If not I'd worry about him possibly seeing if he could get away with it again. Your his wife not his mother. I'm wondering what else is he trying to get away with?

well, he finally told you the truth... and now you can see the despicable person he is.

I agree with jimmysqui...and needhelp6....

If he is not sorry and doesn't bend over backwards to be good to you.. tell him to get out!!

Remember, he isn't sorry if he answers your question like that... It is a smart aleck answer... and should never be like that....

Good luck and God bless!

I'm not as sure that it is a smart-alec answer as I am that it shows blatant disregard for your feelings and his promises to you. Why do you do things just because you can get away with them? You're right. This is not a reason. This just opens up more questions in my mind. Why would you cause such hurt and destroy someone just because you can get away with it? It shows a very low opinion of who you are. What? He doesn't kill someone because he knows he can't get away with it? But, his opinion of you is that you're either too trusting or too ignorant to catch him? That would really insult me.

Again, you are correct. He has a problem that may be deeper than you can deal-with. If you do something just because you can get away with it, what else is he capable of doing?

So true...oopsshediditagain! These are all the things that cross my mind on a daily basis,why would someone just do something thats so hurtfull to not only me but himself and his children? We are spose to be protecting and naturing of each other and our kids.I said to him the other night that I certainly could have done alot of things if my attitude was do do what I could get away with!Im not so sure he even really knows why and maybe his cheating and the ways he went about it,are true reflections of who he is on the inside..Im thinking he has big problems that require more than my love to work through.If he can hide this side of himself for 8 years and me not know then thats also another can of worms to open!

FIrst of all, he chose to cheat because he thought he was entitled to something that he truly was not, that should tell yousomething right there. The fact of the matter is if he neds to be with a multitude of women and isn't satisfied , it is not about anyone but him, he has a real problem, perhaps an addiction and that addiction may be sex.
It is real, it exists and numerous affairs are definitely a clue.
If he did it because he could, he may continue whaen he thinks he can again, no forgiveness until he reakizes he has a real problem and gets help.

You deserve better...Hes obviously taking advantage of you.....i cant imagine that you are still with this person that cheated on you for 8 years.....YOU deserve better!!!!!!!!

abbylou..Im still with this man firstly because of our 6 kids and my investment into our past and future,I can understand your comments completely and wonder myself how i can still be here.This is something im trying to work through with him but dont know what the outcome will be.