I am the one who made the horrible mistake in the marriage that has ruined all are lives. I did something that I never ever believed I would do. My infidelity lasted 3 months and ended in the end of November last year. My husband said he found out in early September but didn't confront me until late November. I truly regret what I did, the guilt has made me physically ill (an ulcer) so I can only imagine how my husband feels. I would give anything if I could take it back...I have completely made changes in my life thru counseling, tears, soul-searching, prayers, reading and finally having a relationship with God--everything I should have done before I let all of us down. My husband does not want to discuss why I did what I did or where we go from here. We are living separately in the house (sleep in different bedrooms) and says there is no "we", but says that God has told him not to go yet. Is this normal? I just don't know what to do...I have told him over and over how sorry I am and feel that I have done everything possible to be a better person. I think I made things worse by telling him how I worked thru forgiveness during his alcoholism(8 long years of it). What I meant was his actions during that time that I truly don't think he realizes everything he did--this infuriated him to say the least. He doesn't want to go to counseling with me, but I continue to go. Is it normal for the betrayed person not to want to make a decision on staying together or not? Please any advice on this or anything I can do to make this better---I don't want to do anything else to make this any worse than it already is.
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