
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I'm the wife who's husband told her the exact same thing you posted in your "Reasons" post. That your OW gave you an emotional connection you didn't know you were missing. I really want to understand why?? Why did you cross the line when you knew it was wrong?? Why didn't tell your wife you were unhappy or that something was missing before the affair started?? That is the one thing I can't understand. I have asked my H and he won't answer. He just says the same thing you do. Our marriage was over, he was unhappy and he saw the opportunity to move on with his life.
What about me or your wife?? What made you feel you didn't owe her or yourself the respect to be honest and honorable?? Why didn't you have some self control and end the marriage first??
The difference between me and your wife, from what I gather in your post, is I begged my H for YEARS for any kind of connection, to be included in his life. I begged for emotional and a physical connection but he just cut me out completely and he admits he did so. He did not want me to be a part of his life. So how is it you could build an emotional connection with your OW and not your wife? What makes you think your relationship with your OW which was built on lies and deceit will survive??
I really want to understand.
I stood by my H for over 28 years, married for 23. I never wavered and always supported his dreams and endeavors even when they differed from mine. There were many years I did not like him and the way he treated his family BUT I never wavered in my vows. I want to understand how it was so easy for you and him to disrespect and destroy the person you vowed to love and honor???
I do not agree with what you have done but I'm hoping you will take the time to help me understand the question every victim of betral has, WHY??
Not just our opinion, but a spiritual law set in many thousands of years ago...
Many people try to justify Adultery, but there is no justification for breaking the vows that was taken before man and God!!
Aprilfool- you can cast all the fire and brimstone you want but it offers nothing.
Fyreman- you at least have taken the time to read what I have said. I can understand your anger. Now try to understand me. I'm not casting blame on anyone. I'm trying to see the whole picture and understand the choices I made. Yes, they were choices and they were selfish. Sometimes our choices are mistakes.
Don't attack my morality. You don't know me any more than I know you. I will gladly take who I am as a person- all my faults included- and stand that against anyone and be proud of it. If you actually knew me I think you would respect that too.
Thanks again to my friends,
Tilt
God set spiritual laws many thousands of years ago, and what you or I say makes no difference... We live under them and God will judge us, or they may break us...
So sorry that you can't see anyone but yourself, but I promise you that your time will come..
Again not what I say but what our instructor said!!
Does it make you a horrible person? Not necessarily. But, it does mean that you have some problems that you need to face instead of dimishing what you've done by calling it a mistake. Giving away your love and your attention to another person is a horrible, painful, very bad choice. It absolutely destroys the spouse. To those who have been cheated on and decide to cheat, I can't even fathom that. Why would you want to cut off someone's arm just because yours has been cut off? To those that I've heard who are cheating because their spouse cheated, that is almost worse to me. Not only do you know it is wrong, but you know how much it hurts. So, you're not making a mistake at all. You are willingly inflicting emotional abuse on someone else when you know what damage it does. Sadly, it also damages you even more. Why can't people just do the right thing?
But Tilt you still didn't answer me. This is your opportunity to help us understand. This is your chance to be that stand up guy and help us, the victims, understand what and why our spouses have done what they have. I know your reasons may not be exactly my H reasons but since I get no reasons why from my H I would like to hear yours. Especially since your "Reasons" topic uses the exact words he did. It just might spark some insight for me and give me some new questions I can ask my H so I can help myself heal.
You see you had help destroying your marriage, your OW. You have her to help you now with the fall out of ending your marriage, RIGHT? I and most victims only have ourselves to help pickup the pieces and put our lives back together. We don't have the luxury of a lover to lean you (our spouses) have taken that from us too.
I just want to know how you build such a strong emotional connection with someone in such a short amount of time that you could forget about the vows you made to your wife. How does that happen?? Why was your OW so special??
Please help me understand.