Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Unfortunately, in our society it is too easy to brush off major, life altering, choices as "mistakes".
I have watched 3 movies about infidelity on various cable channels tonight. I noticed a recurring theme: The cheaters ALL call their infidelity a MISTAKE. Even the people they make the choice to cheat with, in their efforts to explain to the respective spouses when they were confronted, call it a mistake!
Examples:
From the other woman - "He made a mistake. A MISTAKE!" or "He made a mistake. He was an idiot!". From the husband - "I made a mistake. You can't throw away what we have because I made a MISTAKE." or "I made a mistake. For God's sake, I MADE A MISTAKE!!!" From the wife who cheated - "You can't possibly blame me for a mistake or error in judgement. You were never here. What else was I SUPPOSED to do???"
So in a very small way, we can cite television for making our cheaters chalk up what they did as a mistake (rather than a CHOICE) simply because that is what they believe based on what they may have seen or heard. The really ironic thing is, in all the movies I watched tonight as well as the ones I have seen over the years, it seems as if every one of them refers to infidelity as a MISTAKE! Maybe I'm missing something (?)
All I know is what I and others have stated before: It is a CHOICE, regardless of the reason that this was the road taken, it was a CHOICE and I would wager that only 1% of the cheaters out there had some kind of mental disability that made it impossible to know right from wrong.
I have watched 3 movies about infidelity on various cable channels tonight. I noticed a recurring theme: The cheaters ALL call their infidelity a MISTAKE. Even the people they make the choice to cheat with, in their efforts to explain to the respective spouses when they were confronted, call it a mistake!
Examples:
From the other woman - "He made a mistake. A MISTAKE!" or "He made a mistake. He was an idiot!". From the husband - "I made a mistake. You can't throw away what we have because I made a MISTAKE." or "I made a mistake. For God's sake, I MADE A MISTAKE!!!" From the wife who cheated - "You can't possibly blame me for a mistake or error in judgement. You were never here. What else was I SUPPOSED to do???"
So in a very small way, we can cite television for making our cheaters chalk up what they did as a mistake (rather than a CHOICE) simply because that is what they believe based on what they may have seen or heard. The really ironic thing is, in all the movies I watched tonight as well as the ones I have seen over the years, it seems as if every one of them refers to infidelity as a MISTAKE! Maybe I'm missing something (?)
All I know is what I and others have stated before: It is a CHOICE, regardless of the reason that this was the road taken, it was a CHOICE and I would wager that only 1% of the cheaters out there had some kind of mental disability that made it impossible to know right from wrong.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
Cheating is ON PURPOSE ( to get laid, or oral, whatever) , an INTENTIONAL mishap- to get ones needs filled outside of the marriage.
My chronic "mistake cheater" put a ringer on his cell phone "so I made a big mistake, try to see it once my wayyyy".
Um, no?
Whatever terminiology I choose to use doesn't take away the fact that I was a selfish, disgusting person when I cheated.
Let's say that someone has a chronic problem with cheating. Would you tell an alcholic to grow up and stop drinking? Is it always a choice? Seems to me that if someone wants to admit and atone, but believes that he/or she needs help, that there should be more resources and/or more support.
only YOU can WANT to stop cheating, much like the alcoholic you mentioned. They have to WANT TO stop doing it. And then, they actually take steps TOWARDS finding a program that works for them.
if this isnt working for ya here bud, and ya gotta beef with what we have to say, perhaps you need a different kind of "AA" to fit your individual needs, or at least hear only want you want to hear.
Point blank? You sound like a sex addict with a deep seated intimacy issue.
So by all means, please don't RANT AND RAVE that this site is all about RANTING AND raving.
Hello Kettle. I'm Black.
First to John....ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?? What the hell are we supposed to do? Pat you on the head and tell you how sorry we are you have a problem that devastates all around you? Sorry, not going to happen, that's what AA and rehab is for. Even drug abuse and alcoholism started as a choice, and before you think to tell me I don't know what the hell I am talking about, I have been down this road too. Is the drinking a choice? Maybe not, but getting the help not to do it is.
To betrayed...I too am SICK of hearing mistakes given to choices. Not just cheating, but everything in general, there seems to be this pervasive attitude that is wasn't a choice to do what happened, it was just a "mistake" like magic fairies overtook us all and we didn't have the ability to do anything other than what we did. PLEASE...there aren't many things in life that are true mistakes that don't involve some sort of choice, and cheating certainly isn't one of them.