
Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
Look under recommendations or at the bookstore for books to help relationships effected by an affair, heal. Learn what your rights are. Do not put up with his denial for very long.
IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT THAT HE CHOSE TO BETRAY YOU!
Good Luck
Nave
PACK!
he feels no guilt.
he does not acknowledge your pain.
he accepts no responsiblity for his actions. and in fact, childishly blames you.
think of all the things you'd need to happen for the relationship to work, and by work, i'll be generous and say i mean you can both survive under the same roof.
so just the bare minimum stuff you need.
are you getting of those things or is there a reasonable expectation you will be getting them?
now - think big. think of what you'd need for this relationship to be your barbie dream date happily-ever-after.
do you deserve to have any less than this?
i'll answer this one for you.
NO.
you deserve nothing less.
none of us do.
we all deserve to have our ideal relationships.
we make excuses - staying for the kids, can't afford not to stay together, we're in the same car pool - we compromise and settle.
and we sell ourselves short.
YOU DESERVE THE BEST.
WE ALL DESERVE THE BEST.
I would just like to jump in here because this discussion really hits me between the eyes. I can completely empathize with the situation. My wife has been having an emotional affair. She is blaming the fact that I have worked so hard over the last many years (putting the job above the family) and our lack of communicating our needs mutually that has led to the affair. I don't perceive that she was truly sorry she had the affair. She is sorry she was caught. She is definitely ambivalent about repairing the marriage. She won't read anything, listen to tapes or even watch videos. She has now been going to her family and is driving a wedge between myself and them based on very selective details (she hasn't told them she had an affair). We are in individual and couples counseling. Both clinical and religious counselors tell her she needs to start "taking down some walls". How long does one wait? We have two beautiful children. I love my wife, but right now I certainly don't like her. Here's the killer for me, she won't stop seeing him because he's a key business customer and she's in sales. As of yet, she has maintained that she cannot breakoff all communication, but wow, this is really tough for me to live with.
I've been warned that if I move out to "make a point", the courts will view this as child abandonment and I will not get to see my girls. We both make the same and have about the same retirement savings, excellent credit ratings and all of that but I've been told I can expect to pay 40-65% of my take home pay to the state and my girls will actually see very little of this money (the state will keep it) because of how much my wife makes. I want to work out my marriage. I come from a strong religious background and I do know my work has impacted our relationship. My friends tell me that "One can only fix one. One can't fix two. Two can fix two. One can't fix two." I am focused on working on myself right now to become the best person I can be, in hopes that she can somehow snap out of her state of mind, which is entrenched in cold anger. I believe she is lost within herself. What to do? Feedback comments like "dump her" aren't very helpful to me. The right path is often the most difficult.
My H also has shown no remorse for what he has done. He has shown no emotion toward the damage he has caused. He told me he didn't do anything wrong. I can be crying my eyes out and he thinks I'm weak. He told me that was the only reason he stayed was I was to emotionally weak to handle it.
I don't think it's a wall I think they are just heartless bastards. Real men don't cry and crap like that.
But, I did force my H to tell our teenagers what he had done. He did breakdown when he had to face them. So at least he has a heart when it comes to his kids.
I knew he had no heart when it came to me or it wouldn't have cheated.
There is also no help for a sociopath! I also had a psychologist tell me that! He had to interview both of us during uor divorce and diagnosed me as codependent and him as sociopath! Critical bad combination!!
Good luck to you! I feel for you!!!
First, is the "wall", the sociopath-symptoms.
Then, comes the "why ME", "this is destroying me" stage.
If they are committed enough to get past these stages then they may see how it affected others.
Sadly, most people who do this don't get past taking off the blinders. All you can do is tell yourself that it has nothing to do with you, it is not punishment for who you are, it is them.