i have been struggling making the decision to stay or leave my marraige. I have been married for 7 years and have 3 kids. My husband has been a drinker (socially) from the time i met him. When we got married it progessively got worse. He began using pot and it became a daily routine. I tried to have many talks with him and it never seemed to matter. As things got worse i adapted and become the primary caregiver, and allowed my husband to disrespect over and over. It wasn't until the fall of last year that i found out how he attempted to get a friend to sleep with him while under the influence. I was out of town and he can't tell me how he got the kids to bed. I completely lost trust and allowed him another chance knowing that he hadn't been successful with infidelity. In Jan. 2008 i finally found out that he DID sleep with someone (while i was 8 months pregnant) and him and my closest friends kept this secret from me. After that i was like the dominos began to fall. I found out he was very much into coke and was with women that he would go to lunch at work. I found an attorney and was ready to leave and got the anxiety of what if i was making a mistake? I had 3 young children to worry about. He says he's clean. that he wasn't thinking and it was the drugs. we went to a few counseling sessions. I wanted him to go to NA and he refuses. He's had a few drinks after telling me months ago he would never drink again. Now i'm debating leaving again. He is terrified and doesn't understand why i don't want to make it work. I feel like there is too much history and i can't forgive the cheating. i want to have respect for myself becuase i always thought i;d never stay w/someone if they cheated. I just don;t know what to do
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