I think it depends how you take stress and its the decision making that is the strugle as well, i have many illness due to the stress and horrible rollecoaster of a very bad marriage and am still with the cheating husband after 15 years and i regret it and i wish i made a clean break but he doesn't want a divorce, so there you go, i only had asthma when we first met and after married in the last past 10 years i report it to my previous doctor many problems he said was all because of stress, so i was first diagnosed with the obvious IBS, and chronic low back pain, then in the last past 2 years i got worse as the marriage got worse my husband admited cheating on me with several women while i was at home looking after our 2 children, i had children at the age of 17 and he was 27, the last 2 years i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, endometriosis, and i was diagnosed with depression after few years of being married to him, i also got a diesease that he gave me HPV, SO FOR YOU AND EVERYONE THAT CAN MAKE A CLEAN BREAK, I SAY ALELUIA, AND GOOD LUCK MY FRIENDS IS BETTER TO HAVE A CLEAN BREAK ON YOUR OWN WITH YOUR CHILDREN THEN HAVING TO SUFFER ILLNESS DUE TO STRESS AND DUE TO THE HUSBAND, THERE YOU GO I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS AND TAKE CARE,XXXXXXX

fUZ,
I AGREE WITH mOUNTAIN BUT I DID NOT LEAVE EITHER SO DONT KNOW IF I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN WORSE OR NOT,HAD I LEFT.

WHAT IS ODD IS THAT I BEGAN TO DEVELOPE HARD TO DIAGNOSE PROBLEMS WHILE PLANNING MY MARRIAGE TO HIM, 13 YEARS AGO! I EVEN THOUGHT...FOR JUST A MINUTE..COULD THIS BE ..MY BODY TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING? NO, OF COURSE NOT! WE ARE SO MUCH IN LOVE AND THIS COULD NOT BE A MISTAKE!

SO MERRILY I WENT ON MY WAY, BUT MY HEALTH KEPT DETERIORATING. A FEW YEARS AGO, I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH IMMUNE DEFICENCY, STRESS RELATED AND SOME OTHER STRESS INDUCED STUFF.

HOW DO I KNOW IT WAS FROM THE HUSBAND? I HAD BEEN A SINGLE MOM IN COLLEGE BEFORE I MET MY HUSBAND...SO IT COULD HAVE BEEN THAT.

SINCE THE DISCLOSURE OF THE AFFAIR. THE ILLNESSES I ALREADY HAD, HAVE GOTTEN MUCH WORSE.

TRYING TO MAKE A DECISION, TO LEAVE SOMEONE YOU HAD EVERY INTENTION OF SPENDING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WITH, WHO YOU STILL LOVE...OR STAYING, FEELING DISRESPECTED, DISILLUSIONED AND IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN..IS NO CHOICE AT ALL. IT FEELS LIKE TORTURE AND I HAVE BEEN BACK AND FORTH, DAILY, FOR 2 YEARS! I AM CERTAIN THAT DOESNT HELP ONES BODY TO FUNCTION AT IT'S BEST.

I already had IBS, Fibromyalgia & Arthritis when he cheated. Since then my emotional depression led me to therapy & I was diagnosed Bi-Polar. I suffer from sleep deprivation also. How can anyone suffer from the betrayal of a cheating spouse & not become seriously stressed out?

Couldn't eat, (lost 40 pounds) couldn't sleep, (ended up with sleep, depravation) stomach was mess, (IBD), and my gums started to bleed. So yep, the stress can kill us if we let it.

That's when I learned to start taking better care of me and letting go over what I had no power over. Thank God for good therapy.

Hmmm. With me, I don't think I see lasting health problems. I'm 27 btw. I stress too much in general, even before he ever cheated. I'd get lots of headaches, occasionally nausea. But, I realized I could help that by thinking more positively. It seems like the stress effects for me are more temporary things that reoccur if I get stressed again. I have noticed a little finickiness with my digestive system. I don't know if it's full blown IBS or just nerves. I get nervous because of social anxiety too. The headaches have gotten a lot better as long as I don't let my mind dwell on negative thoughts for hours on end. I think the emotional effects are what get me more. It can just take the energy out of you know what I mean? I can be fine and all of a sudden said. I can get anxious or sometimes I feel so angry I feel like I have venom in my heart. I am grateful for this site and for therapy and I'm on antidepressants too. I've been doing a martial arts class 3 times a week, that's about the only exercise I get. I think with good therapy and other efforts to help manage stress that health problems can be improved.
I agree with hope and growth that it can be good to let go. I have a hard time doing that, but what good does that do me right? I wish you all the best. I think if you just keep doing the best you can to take care of yourself that your health can improve.

I wasnt able to sleep well for a long time, I was always on edge, couldnt eat,,,that kind of thing...but now that Ive just accepted that is only a matter of time till I catch her at it again and she will have to leave,,im doin better..im okay physically again,I can sleep again too.

It's sadly normal for your body to physically react to such a huge blow to the system. I think how we deal with it will determine how sick we become. I've had supportive friends but the real source of destress was here. Many of my issues faded when i found that I wasn't the only one. I was behaving normally and not alone! Reading up on the subject initally helped but becarefull not to get too back into what happened months ago. I found myself restressing over things that I would read in the book...not helpful!