I can tell you that I am in the same boat. There are many times that I dont log into this site because I know that it makes me start thinking of my situation each time more and more and then to hear some of the stories, and I just feel totally horrible. But Yes, it does help to know that you are not alone. And yes, it does take time to heal - as it has for me. Its been about 9 months since this whole mess began with my H and I. I have good days and bad. I have still ALOT of anger - ALOT!! But it helps to talk to my therapist nad have people on this site who will listen. It helps to hear some of the others' stories. It also for me, helps to let others like you know that you that it's normal the way you are feeling. I look back on old journal entries of mine and I know that things are definately better for me now. Not perfect, not ideal, but better. Just take care of yourself and know that you can vent about anything here and it helps.

Labroken,
Is true reading about the pain of others can take us directly to our own. I found that knowing that my feelings werent abnormal. helped me to stay true to myself. I wont let all the good meaning and bad meaning people tell me it is time to get over it. It is over when it is over.

I have also made personal friendships on DS, that have brought me comfort and support when I really needed it.

This would be a very simple process if one could just move on, leave the bastard and hate him/her.

I married the first time at 17. I divorced at 27. I did not look back once with regret or tears. I guess, I see now, I was never really in love with my first husband.

This time, 2nd husband, we were very happily married for over a decade and his ability to just drop me like yesterdays candy and move in on the OW. It kills me. I have no hate for my husband, just love and loss. That may just be the natural order of things when one really loves.

So sorry, you r going thru this. i would not wish this pain on anyone.

labroken, i know what you mean... i think of myself as pretty lighthearted, and, trust me, my life is pretty miserable too. Just try to put all that built up angst into something positive. I do this a lot. And I eliminate people who drain me... and cause more stress. Remember, hate is still a feeling, if you are indifferent, then that is cause for concern...

I felt the same way when I first joined this site. I identified so closely with all the pain here that reading many of the posts kept it all, like you said, right at the surface. But as Nave pointed out, there are wonderful frienships to be made here, and that has been very healing!

Eights months for me and I still have problems sometimes, especially with the "fresh stories". Brings it all back, painfully clear. But now, I am healing, made close DS friends and finally, although painful to read, I feel I can help others when before I could not. I also hated the Time heals thing. But its the truth. Especially when I look back to Feb 20th. When I recently got hurt by trying to date too soon--I looked back. I am better than I was and I will continue to get better. Hang in there. Its hard. Doubt we will ever forget (I won't) but the pain is getting less. Still there, mind you, but not that lay in fetal position, wishing for death pain. OMG. Never that again. Please.