i hate to say this
but maybe u need to pay close attention to her
dont smother her but know where she is
b/c u nvr know what shes doing
and if u find that there is nothing else wrong then fine but if otherwise at least u knew

yeah its nice that she came clean, but still i agree with her, keep a close eye on her.. at all times..sucks to have to do that, but you never knew,,, so who knows

I think I will pay close attention. I need to know I can trust, hopefully with time i\'ll regain that. Sometimes I have this desire to know exactly what their relationship was all about. I don\'t know how healthy that is.

I think your wife should be given some credit for coming to you and admitting her mistake.That tells you she is guilty and sorry.
My husband cheated with 2 woman and 1 had his baby in april.He made a major mistake,but I love him and he is remorseful and has showed me how sorry he is.Our relationship is the best it has ever been.I think if your to hardon her and dont try to regain her trust, then why be in the relationship? Trust is a very hard thing to find after a spouse cheats,But I can say that if she really is sorry She will show you by her actions.She made the First step by admitting her mistake.Give her a chance.
Barbie :)

Oh,
Spare yourself the details.I had to know and I think it hurt me more.It was just a lay,Nothing more.He was not all that,she is with you :)

Here\'s my lousy 2 cents worth.

Decide right now if you can get over it. If you are willing to go forward, that means you move on and never mention it again. Go on and just leave it rotting in the past.

I say this cuz my husband and I battled for about 3 years regarding his infidelity. Major, ugly, painful fights. I wanted desperately for him to see how much he hurt me. He wanted desperately for me to just shut up already so we could focus on a good life together.

I\'m weighing in now to say if you are so wrecked by this that it forever threatens your relationship, just do everyone a favor and GO ON to the rest of your life!

I did not do that. I did not have the strength to walk out on my cheating boyfriend.

Now we are married, and after approximately 10 seconds of bliss (ok, maybe a year or so), he is showing his true colors as an abusive, self-centered, narcissistic liar. True Colors? No, you\'re right. I had my warning.

And I didn\'t take it.

Will you?

wow good for you girl!!! dont put up with any shit

First off KandyKane ~ you\'re 16 years old right? What the hell do you know about real relationships? Have you been married for many years and had children and know what it\'s like to spend your life with another person day after day after day?? No offense, but you have to get out in the world and experience life for quite sometime in order to give advice on it sweetie.

To the original poster ~

I cheated on my H too. Have you talked to your wife about why she cheated? Are things bad at home to the point where you need to change? In my situation I was being ignored or put off by my H of 12 years and quite frankly being taken advantage of. I was there, doing what I do as a mom and wife and that was enough for him but I needed more. :( I needed that closeness that only a man could give me and he wouldn\'t give it anymore so I found someone who would. I regret what I did but my H is still the same old person as before, hasn\'t changed. Perhaps if you love your wife you can figure out a way to change your ways and be more of the man she needs so she isn\'t pushed to cheat again. I\'m in no way blaming YOU for her cheating, but just trying to see it from her point of view since I\'ve been there, done that.

My wife cheated on me. She was a stay at home mom, and I worked long hours to provide almost everything she wanted, even when it came to remodeling our 3 year old house to put on a second floor laundry room, an in ground pool (which I didn\'t want but she did), etc. She denied the affair when she asked ME for the divorce saying I was angry and controlling. I was angry over the relationship she had built with a friend of mine,and I was getting jealous of the past few years. She would online chat at night when I slept, go out with the kids with him without me or his wife to ice cream and playgrounds, etc. Finally, I was getting more and more angry over it. As far as controlling, she controlled the finances, not me. I gave her my paycheck, and who knows what happened. She would spend money like mad..about 3-4K a month easily not counting the cash withdrawals. Obviously she was lacking something, and has for years. When the friend became the lover, she decided ask for the divorce when I got angrier over her going out with him \"as friends\". She denied the affair over and over. She saw me changing, because I was working on all the flaws she cited as the reason she was leaving ME. Finally I got proof, and then she decided it was over. I even apologized to HER for her affair thinking I was guilty, and caused it. I sent her 3 dozen red roses when she left for her sisters to get away. I have still been working on myself, improving. Finally, I understand it\'s not MY fault. It was HER choice to have the affair. It was HER choice to continue to lie to me about it and hide it. It was HER choice to blame me for several faults that really were her own.

I commend people if they can work past it. But it only works if BOTH parties want it. My wife did apoligize, but I question her sincerity. One expert I\'ve read suggests that the unfaithful spouse needs to apoligize repeatedly if necessary. My wife says, \"I\'m not going to repeat myself\". There\'s really no remorse that I can sense. She still loves the guy, and I know that for a fact. I get a sense she\'s just waiting to get out of this situation, then hook up with him again. But, there are a few rules I think apply here. Once a cheater, always a cheater. One of her own friends said that years ago... Since she won\'t be open with me about her where abouts, etc. then I know she has no interest in the marriage. Finally, it really takes 2 to save a marriage, not just one as some might claim, when there are such strong emotions as in infidelity running around.

Open and honesty helps, but alone it won\'t do it.