There are 2 sides to every marriage. My 17 year marriage (20 yr relationship) ended only days ago. I cheated on my husband about 7 years ago for reasons I still don't know to this day. It was an intense affair that lasted only a couple of months but during that time I was open and honest with my husband about the affair at which time he told me about the 7 women he has had flings with since we married (over the 10 years prior to my affair) that actually hurt me. I was angry because I felt those were lies and I was very open from the beginning about my indescretion. Ultimately it hurt because I was actually faithful to him for our whole relationship until this affair but I digress. So my initial thought was revenge (what a marriage) I spent a weekend with this other person and then told my husband I did it to hurt him. We had a tough couple years after that but I ended my affair immediately the only problem is that I worked with the other person and that seemed to hurt my husband more. I spent what seemed like a life time showing my husband how sorry I was but not once did he tell me he was sorry. Then things seemed to be better and we actually planned a vow renewal. We did that about 2ish years ago. Then 3 weeks ago he told me (after confronting him and his changed behavior) that he has been having an on and off relationship with an old high school girlfriend for the last 20 years. I was shocked, disbeliefed, blindsided. I asked him a lot of things, searched his phone found lots of pictures over the years some that were film and sent to him by her. Some that made him look so happy in comparison to how is in pictures with me.
I am rambling, I know. I asked him if he could give 100% of himself to me right now to work on this marriage. Could he from here on out never have contact with her again? Could he give up all cheating and be 100% faithful to me from here on out to our deathbeds? He looked at me and said no she will always have his heart and body but at least I have his mind and soul. What kind of answer is that? I said we are done and I left for a few days.
He has since been devestated and showed me that he deleted all their pictures and he knows now that he could give me 100% and that he can't live without me she was just a relationship that made him think about what could have been. He tells me it was my cheating that forced him to do this that it was my spending a weekend with another man that made him be with her....(over 20 years).
I have 90% of me screaming take him back he is the love of your life and your best friend. 10% saying he will never change. All my family and friends now dislike him so if I did take him back where would that leave those around me.
Found out a couple weeks ago that wife of 20+ years is having online affair (met through a social media game app) that is very explicit and also has resulted in at least a couple phone calls and him sending flowers to her work. Originally found out by accident when she was in shower one morning and she left screen notifications on, phone started dinging and I looked at screen to tell her who...
She used to rape me every weekend. She cheated on me and told everyone my secrets and made up rumours about me. I tried to get back with her and I believe she cheated on me again and is now living with someone else. In our last fight I hit her, I've never done that. I feel so much shame and I feel so alone. It all hurts.