I have been married for eight years prior to my affair last year. This is something that I would never would have dreamed that I would have ever done. I absolutely adored, admired amd loved this man--I still do love him. We had some problems over the years that my husband's alcoholism did not help. But I always knew that we loved each other. During the long battle with the alcohol I felt alone and hurt. We never did anything as a couple and he had very little interest in me as a wife or sexually (still no excuse though!). It was difficult to say the least. Thankfully he went to get help last January and I thought our life would be perfect. I was so proud of him. When I knew he was drinking again and attempting to hide it I was furious on the inside, but didn't say anything--I should have. I found myself on adult websites talking to other men looking for what I thought I was missing--not smart. I ended up meeting a man once and another man on 3 or 4 occasions. I had missed being wanted so bad that I made a stupid, life-changing, and dangerous mistake. I would give anything if I could change it. I have not spoke to this man since early November---cancelled my info on this site and completely turned my life around. I regret my actions horribly. My husband found out and confronted me in early November--we still live together but in separate rooms. I don't think he wants to work it out--he refuses marriage counseling, will not discuss on rather he wants the marriage to work or not and says that I am the reason why he has to drink now--in order to be here with me. I am just lost. I have prayed daily for both of us (he's doesn't believe my new faith either). Do I keep on trying hoping he will forgive me and eventually try or what?? Please help with any advice no matter how harsh it may be. I wish I would have never lost sight of our marriage to begin with--I just don't want to give up...Thanks in advance
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