Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

3,915 Members
17,776 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Infidelity Support Group

My H loves women

deleted_user
deleted_user
It's been almost 2 years since his affairs and his new baby with one of the OW. He was doing so good at helping me to trust him again and work out our marriage. Two days ago I found him on his IM with yet another girl from a game we play together on the computer. He told her our personnal info. then went on to say he loves women, the way they smell, feel look, etc. You get the idea. When she didn't respond right away he was saying to her, don't leave me, well have a good rest, bla bla. When I confronted him with it he said it was a terrible slip. He was just having a conversation with her and it got out of hand, he's sorry, bla bla. Something in me has changed now, I'm not sure we are going to make it through this. My anger just causes him to give up and not try. I don't yell or scream or accuse, but he can feel it in my body language. I have no where to go, I can't even get into public housing. I don't even have any family I can go to. I'm spent, so hurt and angry. Waiting for things to spiral out of control again. Should be used to it but I don't think anyone ever gets used to that sort of thing. I wonder if God wants me to be alone, is that why my whole life with has been so horrible even though I try so hard to be what I should be for my man and my family. Where does someone like me go? I know my husband loves me but he can't seem to stay away from other women and I can't share him!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You shouldn't have to share him. Does he realize this behavior hurts you deeply? It's changing you and taking away from you. I hope he gets a clue soon and stops.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh yes, he knows. I am very open to him when I talk to him about it. I wish I really knew what was going on in his head. He says he doesn't want to lose me. I asked him very calmly if he wanted to be able to pursue his life as a single person would, that it would be better if I knew now so we could end our relationship without the terrible hate of lies and cheating. He said he doesn't want that but his actions don't show me that.
pianogirl
pianogirl
My heart hurts for you. Is there really no where to go, even for a temporary break to help you think this through? I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't let him get away with this. He needs to grow up and be a man. He has the choice to stop. He doesn't want to. It was not just a simple slip. He's showing you how little he cares for you. If he knew how much you were hurt and cared about that, then he would never do that to you again. So, either he doesn't understand or he doesn't care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Why are you even here posting this? Your husband should be kicked out of the house and never given another chance. You keep giving him chances and he keeps cheating on you. Why do you allow him to do that? He will never stop. You've already realized that I hope. Just kick his butt out and make a life for yourself. You deserve better. He will never change. He knows he can get by with it now since you always taken him back every time. Prove him wrong.

And my advice is coming from a cheater. My husband forgave me and trusted me after I cheated on him. He didn't have to do that. He could have kicked my a$$ to the curb but I'm damn lucky he didn't. I work hard at making it up to him every day for what I did. Your spouse is not making anything up to you is he? He's just continuing to f*ck around with other women and with your feelings. He will never change. Sure, I could do the same thing since I've regained my husbands trust, but why on earth would I do that to him?? I will never do that again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are all right with what you have said. I would kick him out but I still couldn't pay the bills and I'd have to move to. I have no where to go. I can't even get into public housing with rent based on income because I have bad credit. He's not working again so he's not helping but if we get kicked out of our home again we can go to his parents house. Without him I can't go there. I don't know what to do. I've already realized he will do it again and something inside me has changed but I don't know where to take my kids. This is so unfair in every way.
needhelp62
needhelp62
LEAVE! Sounds like you don't have a choice..unless you want to share him. I understand the anger. Some days, I fine then all of a sudden I will think of the lies and I have the actual DATES that he was at her house ( bank records, ATM withdrawals) and i start to BURN!! I get so angry. Well, I have a plan for him. I will NO longer be faithful to him. He wants to workit out..but I think of the arrogance, the betrayal, the lies he told me and I can't wait to do the same. See how HE likes it. I'm still VERY angry.
jimmysquirrel
jimmysquirrel
either a person will cheat... or thy wont't, and once is a mistake. Twice is a pattern. Oncee can be worked with. Twice... they won't change. your H is a cheater, and always will be.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I got to the last part of you message and thought I was reading about myself. I am trying very hard to understand God's plan. I know I can never share my husband. He is telling me we need a break from each other so he can sort things out because he doesn't want to lose me and he still loves me. It is so confusing and frustrating not to know what to do. Know you have someone thinking of you. I will keep you in my prayers that God keep you strong through this.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • jeffneedshelp

    Welcome if you’re new!

    Posted by: jeffneedshelp
    Last Reply: FredrickShurmers
    5
    We've all been there - reading a lot of this information before ever stepping in and ever writing that you may have a problem. This is a safe space with people who care. Please say hello!
  • GrassIsGreen

    acknowlodging

    Posted by: GrassIsGreen
    Last Reply: GrassIsGreen
    15
    I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...