Reading the discussion posts have left me wondering whether or not I should be here. I cheated on my partner and have accepted responsibility for my decisions and actions. As I read the posts the seething hatred for the person that cheated oozes from the words written in most posts. I almost feel unwelcomed. By no means am I defending all cheaters but sometimes there is more then meets the eye...there is always three sides to every story... yours, theirs and the truth. To just listen to my partners side of the story I sound horrible,unfaithful,deceitful...the list could go on. If you listen to my side you may come to understand why I did what I did. Read what I put in "my story" and you will get a glimpse of my life and it is a very tiny piece. There have been problems for almost 20 years. He has lied and been deceitful, had virtual affairs that replaced a sexual relationship with me, I was no longer a priority once the wedding band was put on my finger. I tied endlessly to explain how I felt, what i needed, but I was never heard. I asked numerous times for us to get counseling but it never happened. If I did not have children I would have left a long time ago. I had tried to get my husbands affections our entire marriage, I met rejection after rejection and endless excuses of why he didn't want to make love to me. If we made love 6 times a year that was alot. There was an incident of blantant rejection towards me that unknowning was the last straw that broke the camels back per say. I did not go looking to cheat...it found me. After weeks of persistence from this person, feeling an unwanted, undesirable, unlovable empty shell I gave in. When he found out, then his eyes opened to see all that happened what I was trying to say all these years. All I could think was why did it have to get to this for him to wake up. In reality we both brought our relationship to this point. Only time will tell if we can both heal and move forward to a renewed friendship and marriage...as this is the path we are now on.
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