You can love someone and not trust them, but you have to question the value of love without trust.
Get a pre-nup except post-nup. I'm not sure if that would work but its an idea, albeit a weird one.

Zoey1230...Why don't you trust him?

I feel that way too but if that were the truth in both of your hearts he would not have cheated that is the conclusion I am comming to right now if he was my true love like I felt he was he would not have put me through the hell he has some people care more than others and the people that do are the ones that get there hearts ripped oppend and tore apart

Can he not be her true love, but she not his?
I know I feel more for mine than he does me,, it is in everything we do,, it is in how we speak to each other even!

Sorry, I was not done,, I sure wish we could edit these! Argh!
What I also wanted to say is that I still love,, but do not trust and am finding out really fast that I don't think you can have a relationship with out the trust.. I am more miserable with the stupid anxiety attacks when I don't know exactly where he is at any given point.... Than I think I would be if I just walked away! Yep,, I think I'm healing and can kinda start thinking a little more rational!

I feel the same way sometimes, I love him so much but I dont trust him at all. We have been through this before, it was about drugs, after he came home from rehab I didnt even trust him to go to the corner store to by smokes! But everytime he came home and was not high, a little of the trust came back.... and after a few years i trusted him completly again...I hope this will work the same way, I dont know if it will but I hope so, because I dont know if I can stay if the trust does not come back!

I feel that love and trust no longer walk hand in hand in my marriage. For years I loved him and trusted him deeply. I wsa burned. Now I love him but I cannot allow myself to trust him. I know that sounds pathetic but it's how I feel.

To cathy513, I wish you all the best...Maybe trust will come back for all of us... but the cheater must make himself/herself trustworthy.

What is the saying, "You should know them by their fruits!"

I feel the two go hand in hand you can still love without trust but the love will fade eventually if trust isnt restored

Yes, love with trust is very important, and they go hand in hand with one another! For years, I haven't trusted MH because of his drinking. He snuck around, and I never knew when he'd come home drunk. I had to hide this from my children, and walk on eggshells around him for fear that he might go into a drunken rage. Well, now the shoe's on the other foot, and he hasn't been able to trust me because of the stupid affair I had! It's so important for BOTH partners in a marriage to work on loving and trusting one another in ALL areas of their lives! I just hope MH and I will get to the point of truly loving and trusting each other again. Otherwise, it will be like what our pastor said in a recent sermon -"Without trust, the relationship is gone".

For starters, you need to provide more information. What did he do to lose your trust..?

I know deployments are difficult on the emotions. I was in Desert Storm 1 and I've been away for long periods of time. Don't let the situation dictate whether or not you love or trust him.

Again, we're flying blind here without all the data...

I believe that yes you can love without trust, or have much of it. I loved my husband with all my heart, but before we married he cheated on me. With lots of time and pacience he had for me and my episodes we worked through it and eventually married. I always kept one eye opened. After he died I found lots of new evidance and was devistated, felt stupid, foolish, but the fact was he was good. He didn't want me to know there for found ways to make that happen. He had demons that he could not control. He went as far as getting himself help because he said he was feeling the urge from depression. Who would think someone getting help is cheating and talking to a therapist????