As a survivor of not One,but Two cheating husbands. I consider myself an expert. Sweetie, Love and Betrayal go hand in hand. We fall in Love, and by doing that we give our Trust. Trust is a value that has no pricetag.
When the one that we love betrays this trust, it eats away at the very core of our well-being and the value that we place upon ourselves.We hurt because we feel as though we are not valuable. We start taking responsibility for this action of another because we have been made to feel like something must be wrong with me to make him do this. Why doen't he love me anymore. Don't fall for it. A person that cheats, lies, betrays those that he claims to love, doesn't love himself. pick yourself up, and hopefully move on to someone who can truly love and value you, or spend years in turmoil with a cheater. You Go Girl!

I have been in a relationship where I didnt really love or trust the person, not nearly as much as this one. It does not hurt like this! Nothing has ever hurt as much as loving and completely trusting my husband and finding out that my trust and love were tossed away, for a "feel good".

If it hurts to the core, you love him.

heyrenae,
You say it so well!

Both. As Hey said, love and trust go hand in hand. When someone you genuinely love and care about shatters everything you ever thought to be true between the both of you through betrayal, you feel it.

You question everything, down to your own existence. You don't understand, nor have to understand, why if you loved them so much- they couldn't return the favor and at least be faithful. I say at least, because to those who love, cheating is the FURTHEST from their mind.

I agree, if it cuts you to the core, you love him. Alot.

But you have GOT to pick yourself up. One way or another.

I am feeling the same way as you are and God does it hurt.My heart has never felt so full with anybody like it does with him.
But he will have to regain my trust and it will take quite awhile to do so,if even.But for now we have put a hold on the divorce for 4 mo.and he will remain staying at his mothers and attend and follow thru with his meetings and counciling and we will go from there.
If it doesnt work then I can say I tried my best.
He's the one that has to carry the burden of infedelity.And with Gods help and my inner strength I will walk away with my head held high.

Both, you can not feel betrayal without feeling love. We put so much love and trust in this other person. so much hope for the past, present, future. We commit ourselves and expect the same level of commitment. Of course we hurt because we love them so much and it hurts to think that we are not loved back in the same way.

My husband betrayed the sanctity of our marriage. I am heartbroken because I love him and this betrayal means that I put my trust in someone who may not have deserved me.

I admire everyone's response here especially suek......I have to say, it was a year on 10/28 since I found out and I carry a tremendous amount of anger. I don't know why, it is because he betrayed me or do I love him. I can't seem to figure it out. I wish everyone well with their decisions. At this point its getting harder and harder to live with the sob! He is trying to be the "perfect husband" but just the sight of him make me sick!

I guess this is why we stand before family and the community and pledge our lives to each other. It's a huge risk trusting someone like this and we see why, when the trust is betrayed, the ugly feeling digs down deep into us and won't easily be dislodged.

Short of losing a child, I cannot think of a worse feeling.

I am going hrough the same thing but for the third time. He promised that he would change but he did not. I have learned that no one changes anyone but themselves. I would suggest reading "Women that love too much" from Robin Norwood. I am reading it and I feel that it is helping me since I know I am the kind of women. Remember you are the most important thing and he is the one with the problem. Sometimes it is very hard to forget but if you are willing to do it take it day by day. Remember to have friends that can listen. That has been my down fall but I have God as my best friend.